Alberta

Chapter Thirty Seven: Time to flourish

The drive from Manchester back to St George took us a week, with overnight stays along the way and an array of tourist stops.

Ben was thrilled to be together, spending quality time just us and reconnecting. The connection was solely emotional, not physical, and I find when I actually let go of the want to be anywhere else that...we did need this time together. I needed to remember that Ben was a good man, and he was a good friend and companion. It didn't have to be a chore to be with him. I sensed a little his want for more but he hadn't made any moves. He had given me the space to explore and reconnect to him, of course we were trapped together for a week so we didn't have much choice but to stay and work through it, which I think was his plan. I just worried what the end goal here was because I didn't want anything to do with a physical relationship with him, and if it came down to it...I was ready to bare my truth and reveal as much as possible just to set us both free. Ben shouldn't have to live half a life either. We were still both young. I was thirty two and he was thirty four. We were only babies in life's journey. We could both lead a life after each other. A full and happy life. Our families would be a little shocked, but we could all work through it.

"Home sweet Home" Ben announced as we pulled into the drive.

I glance to the house, our house, and for the first time it feels less like my home, because now I had been in Willa's, our future home together...and it felt right that it should be our nest. It was like it sprung from my imagination and planted itself there with the heavenly view and the wondrous light.

"I think I will go see Dad" I offer, thinking of anything I can do to put off going 'Home'.

Ben looks to me and nods. "I will come with you" he says, and he starts the car and drives us the ten minutes or so to my parents house. Augusta was in the front, knee deep in yard work, she looked up and waved as she saw our approach.

I escape the car and walk to her, she removes her sun hat and observes me a little "what's wrong" she asked.

I fake a smile "nothing" I reply feeling a little jittery.

"Did Harper get off to camp okay" she asks.

I smile "yes she did... she's going to love it"

"Hey Gus" Ben greets, coming to my side.

"Hey Benny... so how was the road trip" Augusta asked curiously.

"You knew about the road trip" I ask.

Gus feigns ignorance "nooo" she lies.

Ben squeezes my shoulders "it was your dads idea" He shares.

I look up to him and then to Augusta, and I am a little lost.

"Oh" I reply.

"I'm going to go find him... is he inside Gus" I ask.

She nods "he's in the back writing" she informs me.

I remove myself from Bens hold. "Im going to go visit for a moment alone...if you don't mind"

He smiles and nods "okay" he says softly. He and Gus begin a discussion about the Grand Canyon and how beautiful it is, whilst he digs into his pocket and retrieves his phone and pictures to show her.

I enter the large foyer into the hallway and Henry sidles up to me, nudging my hand with his large muzzle. I ruffle his hair and bend down to give him a cuddle. Henry was the dopiest, and friendliest dog. My mama had loved him like a sixth child, and he missed her, often found curled up beside her chair in the family room, like he was still resting against her feet. I look into his chocolate button eyes and fondly lean in and kiss his soft head. "I miss her too buddy" I whisper, before standing back up and walking down the hallway. A clock ticks in the large space, echoing as it does. I can hear my dad humming in his office.