Alberta

Chapter Forty Four: Its a wonderful life

Harper and I had spent all evening putting up our first Christmas tree in the new apartment together. The tree threw the glow of multicoloured lights over the large open space. It was wide and tall, and Harper had joked perhaps a little too big since it could poke you in the back from the kitchen to the lounge, and as you entered the front door you could get a direct hit to your face if you weren't careful. To be honest she may be right. The darn thing had already got me and pinked my cheek, as I had come back in from putting lights on the steps that led up to our front door.

The thing about the Christmas tree though, it was my first holiday alone, without Ben, and it felt like every choice I made was a momentous thing, and a chain unshackled. I could literally buy whatever I wanted and start new traditions with Harper, and it was my choice, everything was, and so yes I bought the biggest tree on the lot, because I could. It was now my obnoxiously large reminder that life was back in my control. This would be our new tradition, put up a giant tree the weekend before Christmas, cut its ties, symbolic, and let the branches fall, dodging them as they flailed.

"It sounds like something I want to see" Willa says teasingly, her face upon my pillow, within my phone. It was a place I could not kiss her or touch her, but how I wanted too. How I desperately wanted to stroke her cheek at this moment. Willa was laying on her couch, watching a Christmas movie, one of those awful ones where the woman is useless at love, her car breaks down in a small town where everyone is as nice as pie, and she meets the handsome bachelor that the entire town is in love with. As the scene changes Willa looks back to her TV and I gaze upon her side profile for a moment, sighing with how beautiful she was. How I wished I could kiss those lips and press my cheek to hers. I would give anything to spend Christmas in her arms.

"It's pretty....large" I confess, thinking of the tree.

Willa looks back and smiles "I can't wait to see you. Two weeks" she says, crossing her fingers "I'm counting down. Your present is wrapped and under my tree"

"Ooh is it... let me see" I beg. Willa turns the phone around to reveal her warm white lit tree, and a few presents placed perfectly underneath. "It looks ... wonderful. I can't wait to be back and have our week together. Your family have booked this trip Monday through Friday so Harper will be with Ben from the Sunday. I will fly out the Sunday to you, leaving just after them"

"I can't wait" Willa says turning the phone back to face her. "I can't believe they are all off skiing for the family trip this year. Mom rang me yesterday, she said she wished I could be there but didn't actually invite me... not that I expected one" she reveals, trying to hide the way it pained her, and looking away to gather herself.

"Willa ... I love you" I whisper lovingly.

She looks back and smiles "Oh Allie... I just need to squeeze you... I miss everything"

"Hey Aunty Willa" Harper greets, entering my bedroom behind me. I turn surprised and watch her walk over to my side.

"Hey little bird" Willa greets, thrilled to see her.

Harper climbs over me and gets into the bed. "Did mama tell you about the part of the forest she brought home with her" Harper asked, looking to me teasingly.

I rolled my eyes.

"She did... it sounds... impressive" Willa says with a jovial smile.

"Oh it is" Harper says sarcastically "Aunty Willa how was the last game of the year Friday? Did your girls beat the Wolverines" she asked.

Willa frowned "No they beat us this time, but they deserved the win they played so well. My girls had a few issues with team work... something I will be working on when we return in the new year. I think two of my girls are in an on again off again relationship and it's throwing our entire team off when they play together" Willa said, letting out a long breath.