Let the Loving Begin

Chapter One

When I woke up in the hospital I felt strange as if something was wrong and that’s when the doctor walked in. When he walked in I knew something was wrong by the way his faced looked; I almost died when he told me my baby was dead. My baby girl was gone and I couldn’t understand why it had to happen to me. I would never get to meet the little girl I spent five months getting to know and that killed me inside. I could tell Kameron was upset but he would never show it. Instead he rejoined the gang saying it was to protect his family. I didn’t even argue with him about it; I just couldn’t find a way to care. I wanted my baby back, I wanted my family back. I didn’t know what to do with myself so now I just sit at home watching TV to numb the continuous pain. I don’t know how Kelsey did this but I can’t take losing my first baby.

I was watching some lifetime movie when someone knocked on the door taking me away from my silence. When I opened the door it was Kelsey. “Damn you look bad,” she said walking in towards the kitchen. I didn’t say anything but just followed behind her; she was looking through my fridge. “Don’t you got any food?” I shook my head no. “Kameron hasn’t been home to shop for real and I really don’t feel like being bothered. Plus I don’t really eat.”

“Where does Kameron be?

“He rejoined the gang,” was all I said before walking back to my comfy couch. “HE WHAT,” she yelled twisting me around. “What happened to wanting a better life? He talked all that shit about wanting to do better for you and ya'll future but then he just goes back like it ain’t nothing. I knew he was full of shit when I heard about it.” By this time I had tuned her out completely; I really didn’t care about what Kameron did anymore. I couldn’t worry about him and his jobs because it really didn’t matter. My baby was dead ad that was all that mattered.

I was tired of trying to understand why Kacey picked me as the way to send a message o Kameron, why he picked my baby to kill. I just really wanted him to pay but then that was the reason we were in this situation. If Kameron would’ve been on the straight and narrow in the first place then this shit would’ve never happened.

“Are you listening to me,” Kelsey asked me shaking me out of my thoughts. I looked at her and then looked back at the TV. She sighed, “I know the feeling Ariel. I know how you feel. I know how hard it is to try and understand why this has happened to you but trust me it’s nothing you could’ve done to stop it.”

“So I am just supposed to continue to live like nothing ever happened?”

“No, she will always be in your heart but you not eating or sleeping is not healthy. You gotta take care of yourself Ariel.”

“Why? The only person I am effecting by not taking care of myself is me; I’m not pregnant anymore so why should I give a damn about eating or sleeping.”

“What about Kameron, how would he feel if he lost you?”

“Kameron hasn’t seen me since that night. He left me to chase after Kacey and hasn’t so much as looked at me since. He is ashamed of me now; I am worthless to him.” It was true Kameron won’t even sleep in the same bed with me anymore. I have never felt so lonely in my life. In one day I lost my baby and my fiancé. I don’t even wear the ring anymore; I don’t think he wants to be married to me anyway anymore. It’s like I am just a burden to him now and honestly I feel like a burden.

Ever since he took the gang back over he barely even comes home. When he does come home, he comes in the worse state ever. One night he showed up with blood all over him and smelled like the outdoors. I just shook my head and went to bed. I no longer scream about those things anymore and I no longer think about the danger he is putting himself in. if he wants to die like that then that’s his business.