Getting His Attention (Completed)

Chapter 43

Trigger Warning: Suicide Attempt

GHA Chapter 43

I have always known that every actions, there are consequences after. I have always expected it to happen every time I have done something wrong.

Akala ko mararanasan mo ang pinaka mahirap na parusa kapag malaki ang nagawa mong pagkakamali.

I was wrong. Hindi pala gano'n palagi.

Life has its own plan to teach us in one way or another; life has taught us every angle of lesson we could learn from our actions.

At ngayon ko 'yon napagtanto. I've realized that some small mistakes can create big problems in life—a big effect on someone else's life.

That one stupid mistake can drastically change everything.

Tears welled up in my eyes. Hinayaan ko lang 'to habang inuubos ang natitirang alak sa isang bote na kanina ko pa itinutungga.

I went straight to a bar and cried everything out. But I see to it that I could still manage to get home without looking so wasted.

Tumulak na ako pauwi sa amin. Hindi ko na rin alam kung paano ko nagawang makauwi kahit wala ako sa sarili at hirap ibalanse ang katawan.

"Mamaya na natin buksan 'yung isang maleta. Maraming laman na pasalubong 'yon."

"I'm excited, Mom. But let's wait Jie."

"Sure, son. Anyway, isuot mo 'yung pinamili nating damit kanina. Katulad 'yon sa daddy mo."

Napadungaw ako sa kanila. My family is still in the dining area. Inililigpit na ang pinagkainan nila. Obviously, tapos na sila mag-dinner at nagku-kuwentuhan na lang.

Mom and Xian were talking and having some catching up on events they had missed. Dad, despite facing his phone, was still joining in the conversation and laughing with them, too.

Pumihit na ako sa ibang direksyon, paakyat sa hagdan. I was aiming to reach upstairs without a trace and noise, but I failed. I halted and looked at the mess.

Napapikit ako sa inis nang masagi ko ang vase na nakapatong sa lamesa malapit sa hagdanan. Basag na ito ngayon at nagkalat na ang bawat piraso sa sahig.

"Jillian? What is this again?!" Dismayadong tingin ni Daddy ang sumalubong sa'kin nang lumingon ako sa likuran. Nakasunod na rin sina Mommy at Xian habang sina Manang Trinidad at Yaya Rosalie ay maagap na nilinis ang mga bubog.

"What happened to you, Jillian? Bakit ngayon ka lang?" Mom reached me. Umiwas ako ng tingin dahil namumugto pa ang mga mata ko.

"You are disrespectful! Is this your other way to get attention? Sana bumati ka na lang," pagalit na anas ni Daddy.

I'm not drawing attention. I'm not wanting it now. It's unintentional. Hindi ko gustong makakuha ng pansin. I've had enough of emotional outbursts and dramas to think of doing desperate antics and dealing with anyone at this point.

All I want is to sleep and rest.

"See yourself. I could tell you're drunk! I wouldn't be surprised if I heard another report that you had gotten into some trouble this night!"

I wearily smirked.

I have always made trouble...

Crap. I shouldn't have made it my coping mechanism.

"Jillian... bakit ka naman naglasing? It's not good. Saka anong oras na. Ganito ka ba madalas umuwi?" mas mahinahong turan ni Mommy.

Hinawakan niya ang braso ko kaya lumayo ako at may sama ng loob na tumingin sa kanila.