LO$ER=LO♡ER

Chapter 26

Amara laid in her bed, staring up at the dark ceiling. Her room was dark for the most part, aside from the moon filtering in from her window. It's already been a couple of hours since Heeseung had left. She kept hearing his words in her head.

They loved her? Did they really? No, that's not possible. They had to be messing with her. No, that wasn't possible either. They'd never joke about something like this. This was very serious. Sure, they were all nuts and joked around. Even flirted with her playfully.

But, they would never turn this kind of thing into a joke. They weren't that cruel. She didn't doubt that, because she knew them. She knew Jay even better, as they were best friends. And she knew he definitely wouldn't joke about this.

If she knew this, then... Why was she having trouble processing this?

Amara sighed and rolled over on to her side. The ring box came into her view. She stared at it, frowning. She chewed the inside of her lip nervously. The more she thought about it, the more her heart raced and the more her brain went haywire. She suddenly let out a distressed cry, sitting up quickly. She breathed heavily, gripping her blankets.

What was she supposed to do, now? She'd been forced out of one relationship with a group under Hybe. And now a second group under the same company was wanting to be with her.

How is she supposed to deal with this? She didn't want a repeat of what happened with TXT. But, she also couldn't deny her feelings anymore. She'd been forcing them down as deeply as she could this entire time.

Before she'd started dating TXT, Amara had been developing feelings for Enhypen. Especially since she'd known them, before she met TXT. It was Jay who introduced her to them. She hadn't intended for her to catch feelings for those 7 boys, her best friend included. She had no idea they felt the same way. She didn't expect them to. And since they'd just debuted, she couldn't wreck that.

So, she forced her feelings as deep as she could, and put her friends first. But, that had been so much harder for her than she expected it to be. The longer she spent time with them, the more she was around them, the more it felt like somebody was shoving a nuclear bomb deeper and deeper into her body.

After a while, Amara couldn't take it anymore and it exploded. That was when TXT had started asking her to hang out with them and do things with them. And from there, it turned into a relationship. That was also unexpected for her. But, she wasn't complaining. Although, it took away her time with Enhypen more and more, until she was hardly around them anymore.

But, now she was around them again. And those feelings were resurfacing.

It also didn't help that before she dated TXT, she'd almost had a make out session with Heeseung. It had been a complete accident, too. Neither of them had exactly planned it.

Amara let out another distressed cry, interrupting her thoughts.

She grabbed one of her pillows and fell back against her bed, pushing the pillow into her face. She whined softly into the fabric. While she laid there, those old feelings, along with new ones, came bubbling up to the surface.

When she couldn't keep them at bay, they rushed through, like a dam breaking. She slowly lowered the pillow from her face, as tears filled her eyes. She gripped the pillow to her chest tightly. The tears blurred her vision as she stared up at her ceiling. She felt her face heat up as her tears came forward. They slowly rolled down her cheeks, landing on the pillow.

"Why me...?"

After she spoke these words, Amara started crying softly. She whimpered and rolled on to her side, curling up. She sobbed into her blankets, her chest aching. It felt like that nuclear bomb was going off again. But instead of it only inside her chest, it went off inside her head as well, giving her a bit of a headache. She sobbed more, curling up further.

Amara wasn't sure how much more she could take.