LO$ER=LO♡ER

Chapter 35

Jungwon's birthday had gone really well, without any other fights or yelling. Thankfully, Sunghoon and Heeseung seemed to have calmed down over the matter. Jungwon loved the cake, making Amara feel happy and over the moon. They all spent time together, playing a couple of games and then watching movies. They even ordered a delicious dinner, which seemed to help everyone calm down even more. The night went by pretty quickly.

Amara sat on the couch, seeing that the boys had fallen asleep. The sight made her smile softly. She weakly sank into the cushions, closing her eyes and sighing softly. She felt so tired and exhausted. Everything happening was stressing her out. It was like there was anxiety and panic waiting for her around every turn, over every obstacle.

She didn't know how much more she could take. She'd almost lost the baby once. She didn't want to go through that fear again. The first time felt like her entire world had come crashing down around her. Amara didn't want to feel that way again. She wasn't even sure what to do at this rate. She didn't want to avoid the guys, as that wouldn't help. She felt like a weight was being hung over her head, just waiting to fall at any moment. And she wasn't sure when that thread would snap.

After a while, she got up from the couch quietly. She carefully stepped over the others legs, so she wouldn't wake them. She picked up the remote from the coffee table, turning off the TV and throwing the living room into darkness. She put it back and easily made her way through the sea of sleeping boys. Once she was clear, she walked down the hallway.

Earlier, Sunghoon had come to his room to sleep. She stopped outside his room, having second thoughts. She shouldn't disturb him, he needed his sleep. And she was afraid he was still angry from earlier. She chewed on her bottom lip, deciding to go through with it. She would just be quiet and careful.

Amara opened the door and went in. Once inside, she silently closed the door behind her. The room was pitch black, but she didn't need to see to know where she was going. She'd been in this dorm so many times, that she knew it like the back of her hand.

Amara had only just found the bed, when arms went around her waist. She let out a soft gasp as they pulled her down into the bed with them. She ended up across their lap, which wasn't what she was expecting.

"You're supposed to be asleep," she whispered,

"I was. But, I always wake up whenever you're around. It's my way of making sure you're okay," Sunghoon mumbled back, burying his face into her neck, which made her shiver slightly.

He kept his arms around her, holding her close to him. "Are you sure I didn't wake you?" she asked, frowning as she began to feel guilty.

"You didn't," he said softly, nuzzling his face into her neck.

She felt her cheeks get hot.

"Are you okay? You seemed upset after earlier. Especially with how I acted. I shouldn't have lost my temper like that,"

When he brought that up, she frowned. She sighed softly, feeling defeated.

"I don't really want to talk about it," she admitted

Sunghoon tightened his arms around her waist, keeping her close.

"It never happened," he said, making her smile and feel a little better.

He sounded like he wasn't upset anymore. He also seemed to always know the secrets to helping her feel better. Amara didn't know how he did it, but he did. She guessed it was just a gift of his. It was a good one. It always helped her to feel calm and feel like she didn't have to be forced into talking about something, if she wasn't ready yet.

Amara always felt calm and at peace with him. Even if they weren't too close. She felt that way with the others too, of course. But, every one of them had different ways of making her feel calm. His way, was just pretending for her sake, that things didn't happen, until she wanted to talk about it.

She was pulled from her thoughts, when she felt Sunghoon nuzzling her neck still. This made her a bit confused. He never did this, so it was making her concerned.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, her voice soft.

He stopped what he was doing and buried his face in her neck and shoulder.

"We never get time alone. I'm just enjoying the moment," Sunghoon admitted, his voice gentle.

His words surprised her. "You were... Wanting to be alone with me?" she asked,

"I always want to be alone with you. There's never a moment that passes, where I'm wishing it was just you and me," he said softly.

She sat there in a brief silence. "Is this all because--"

"I love you."

Amara felt her heart stop and leap up into her throat. She sucked in a breath and stopped there, not breathing. She felt her body tense up. She couldn't find her words. They were gone. It's like she was brain dead.

He said he loved her. First Beomgyu and now him. Why was everyone confessing to her all of a sudden?

Sunghoon took his face out of her neck and looked up at her, seeing the state she was in.

"You okay?" his voice brought her back to reality.

She blinked a couple of times and met his gaze; He was worried. Finally, her brain started working again and she could speak.

"Hoon, I--"

"You don't love me."

Amara widened her eyes at his words.

"No! No, I do!" Ashe said quickly, panicking.

He frowned. "Only as a friend, though. Right?" he asked softly, looking away from her.

"No, I... I do love you..." she said softly, looking down.

Sunghoon looked at her again, seeing she was staring at the floor. He moved one of his hands to her face, which made her look at him again. Her cheeks were flushed from both embarassment and nervousness. He rubbed his thumb over her cheek, which seemed to relax her some.

"Do you really love me?" he asked softly.

She reached up with both of her hands, keeping his own against her face.

"I do..." she mumbled, closing her eyes.

She leaned into his hand, enjoying the warmth it was making. He smiled softly and pulled her into a warm and tight hug. When he did, it was her turn to bury her face into his neck. Amara wrapped her arms around him, curling up against him. Sunghoon held her tightly to him, resting his face in her shoulder.

Once again, she was in a situation that she wasn't sure would play out. Amara was in love with two groups of boys.

She'd never been in this situation before.