Renewed

Chapter 21

"Why are you ignoring me? Come on," Max was following me around and it was annoying the fuck out of me.

"Is it cause of what I said? I'm sorry please..."

I ignored him again. I was walking to the cliff unconsciously and I only realized when I was almost at the edge of the cliff.

My eyes widened and I jumped back in shock. I turned behind me and Max was sitting down on the ground staring at me with amusement.

I turned back and looked out over the cliff, there was a small river down below and the drop was pretty high, it was like a ravine.

I sat at the edge and just looked out trying to clear my head, I was so lost in thought I could've just jumped off and died.

I could hear Max's footsteps nearing me and he sat down beside me hanging his legs.

We just sat quietly, nothing was going on, neither him nor me made any move until the sun officially set.

I stood up and walked back into the forest. I climbed a tree and sat there without Max knowing. I just stared at him and I felt bad for ignoring him so much.

So I sent him a text saying sorry. I felt bad but then again i didnt want to completely start being really close again. We weren't together and people were getting the wrong idea.. I just can't do it. I can't pretend we are together.

He smiled when he looked at his phone.

After that I left the tree and ran home. Literally ran home. I climbed up to my room and heard my mum crying. I panicked a bit but then I remember her fuckboy would be there to comfort her.

She opened my dark room while sobbing and turned on the lights, she was surprised to find me in my room. She gasped with shock and ran over to me and gave me a hug.

I pushed her away from me, "what the hell... I thought I wanted me gone."

"You were right.. You were right.. I'm sorry.. Please forgive me..," she sniffed.

"Where's that fuckboy," I asked, not giving a damn that I was talking to my mother.

"He was cheating.. He was with my friend.. Audrey you know? I'm sorry," she cried.

It pained my heart to see her like this but I just... I just hated the fact that she became so blind towards everything else.

I hugged her, gave her tissue and sent her to bed. It was getting late anyway. She brought me a plate of food. It had roast beef, mashed potatoes and salad.

"Thanks mum. Go sleep now," I smiled.

My brother came into my room asking what happened and I explained everything.

"We warned her didn't we?" He laughed out loud.

"Mhm yes we did, anyway want some mashed potato?" I asked.

"When will I ever say no?" He took my spoon and took a big mouth. I glared at him but he just grinned, gave me a thumbs up and walked out of my room.

I started to film another video. This time I played Plug and Play. A disgusting game that talks about human centipedes and butt plugs.

To be honest, I regret playing that game but what has been done has been done.

I edited that video for 2 hours straight and by the time I got the video up, it was 2 am.

I headed downstairs to wash my plate when suddenly the freaking doorbell rang. Now if it was 2 PM I wouldn't freak out. But well, it was 2 AM. And I was kind of freaking out.

I grabbed my dagger which my father gave me for my 13th birthday and headed towards the door with the blade pointing outwards.

I looked through the peekhole. It was some dude I didn't know. How many dudes did my mum actually attract..

I opened the door, still holding the knife, and asked, "who are you? What do you want?"

He was shocked and raised both his hands surrendering, "um last minute male stripper."

"Who asked you to come?"

"Someone by the name of... Julia?" His voice quivered.

He wasn't too bad looking, no wonder my mum chose him. I sighed and closed and locked the door again.

"I'll be right back. You stay there," I ran up the stairs to find my mum.

She was awake and seemed to be waiting for her stripper...

"Your playtoy is here," I rolled my eyes.

"Oh good. I'll be right down," she took off her robes to reveal herself wearing just a bra and a pantie.

What.. Is she going to masturbate while the stripper is doing his job? I shook my head and went back to my room.

I turned up the music loud enough for me to dance to but soft enough to not disturb the neighbors.

Dancing and jumping around my room was like a stress relief. It felt really freeing and I wanted to get drunk and go to Max's house but I know I shouldn't.

I cannot anyway. We aren't together. No kissing. No holding hands. No sleeping together.

I need to control this now. I don't want him betraying me and suddenly kissing some other girl because its not reliable.

I don't want him to hurt me though. But I don't know if I can stop the pain.