Renewed

Chapter 19

"Leave me alone!" Alaska cried out.

Eunjik kept trying to apologize, kept stopping her from walking away. At that very moment I felt really bad. I kinda wished I didn't tell her about it...

"I'm sorry. Please... Please forgive me.. I can explain!"

"No... Please leave me alone...," she walked away.

Eunjik turned to me immediately and said, "please help me. It was all a mistake... She forced me to kiss her. She pushed herself onto me, please help me explain to her."

I looked at him then glared, "why didn't you push her away?"

"I was trying! I swear," he was desperate.

I sighed, "okay... I'll get her to listen to you. I won't help you explain, but I can get her to listen."

"Thank you.. thank you so much. Tomorrow at the library alright?"

"I'll try," I grumbled.

He hugged me so tightly I thought I would explode into a tiny million pieces.

"Okay okay enough. Get to class," I said.

He pulled away and smiled at me before worriedly turning away. I'm guessing he was thinking about how she would react.

After classes I went to the park to sit with Alaska, she was feeling pretty terrible.

"I should've known.. He's a classic player. Why did I think he would change for me?" She sniffed.

"Maybe you should listen to his explaination...? He might have a good reason you know..," I put my arm around her.

"I don't know.. He has slept with a lot of girls before," she sighed.

"Give him a chance, listen to him alright? Tell you what. You follow me to the library tomorrow and he'll explain himself okay?" I smiled.

"Okay.. Thanks Heather," Alaska gave me a tight hug.

I hugged back, "no problem."

I walked back home thinking about my own problems.. Max.. Adam... Ugh.

I'll admit to myself. I like Max. A lot. But he seems like he just wants to be friends. I understand that maybe he might be scared of what might happen in the future or something..

But take risks you know..? I'm over Adam.. I'm completely over him and I know it. Its just Max... He helped me.. We freaking kissed.. I sleep with him.. Not in the dirty way of course.

I kinda want to get together with him.. But I don't know if he does. It was so confusing.. I'm confused.

Through texting we send each other kissy faces and hearts but we... we aren't together. Is he just as confused as I am?

I don't know.. I don't feel like talking to him about it but then again I want to get things straight.

I walked into a tree.

"Shit.." I cursed softly.

"Nice going," I heard a voice laugh behind me.

I looked up. Where was I? I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even know where I was walking to.

"I'm surprised you even know this place," the voice said again.

I turned around and saw Max. I looked around and realized I was in a forest which was close to a cliff.

"What... what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I could say the same."

"I didn't know where I was going.. I just ended up here," I sighed.

"This is where I clear my head."

"I see...."

"I know what you were thinking about for some reason. That's how I got to know this place too," he smiled.

"What do you mean?"

"You were thinking about us weren't you," he said.

"Yeah........ How did you know?"

"Like I said.. It was how I got to know this place."

"So.. What about us then?" I asked curious.

"I'm not interested in a relationship to be honest... I... I just was hurt too many times before," he sighed.

My heart broke. I knew it. It won't work out. The familiar heartache was back and I could feel tears stinging the edges of my eyes but by now I would've been used to it, except I wasn't.

I know I should be accustomed to the pain, but for some reason it was completely different.

"I see.."

"Um yeah," he answered.

"I gotta go.. See you," I walked off.

I didn't care where I was going or how I was going get home. I just kept walking forward, kinda hoping that he would call me back but he didn't.

And I didn't look back either. I couldn't look at him, not now.

Confused. Confused is what I am.

And I didn't know what to do.. I sighed, I wish my mum would help me but she's too drawn to her fucking boyfriend.

I managed to find home after an hour or stumbling over roots of trees and stuff. I climbed into my window and lay on my bed.

Once again, I cried my heart out. This time my brother came in to comfort me but of course not letting my mother know.

Why do I keep getting hurt. Why..