forever yours • adam banks

chapter twenty five

adam

"I wish I was good enough for him."

The words that have echoed in my head since Halloween.

The words that have torn me apart ever since I heard them.

I shouldn't have reacted the way I did and I shouldn't have called her what I did, but it's too late now.

Ever since we fought, I've felt awful. I only hooked up with Katie on Halloween to try and help me get over it, but it's just made everything worse. Having to open the door to see her in that state and then to hear her say what she did, pretty much ruined me.

I know I hurt her, but I didn't think I hurt her that much.

Most of my week was a blur, including yesterday. I wanted to reach out to Ella, but I knew I couldn't. She wouldn't want to hear from me anyway, especially after what I did

We had our first playoff game yesterday too. I actually played pretty decent for the amount of crap going on in my head. I only had two assists, but hey, it's a start. I just need to get my head back into the game and focus on our game tomorrow.

Today has been good for the most part. I had a good practice, and my relationship with the Ducks seems to be mending, so I can't argue with that. I just have to do all of my homework and I should be good for the rest of the night.

I know the girls soccer team has their first playoff game today, so I'm sure we'll hear how they did when they get back. They don't usually post about their results, so that leaves everyone anxious about how they did at their away games if they weren't there to see it.

After I finish my homework, Scooter and I leave for the dining hall. It's close to eight by the time we get there, and I'm just sitting down to eat when Ella and her team walk in. It's really easy to spot her since she's on crutches.

I notice that her jacket is zipped, and from where I'm sitting, it doesn't look like she's still wearing Larson's sweatshirt. I'm really hoping she gave it back to him and their hookup was just a one time thing.

The dining hall is silent, everyone quietly waiting for them to announce how they did. I see Ella look at an older girl and smile, and my stomach fills with butterflies.

Gosh, she's so pretty.

I stop staring and watch as they start to jump up and down as Ella and the older girl yell, "We're going to the next round!"

Everyone starts cheering, and they stand in the applause for a minute before going to get their own food. Once they get it, I watch Morgan and Sadie go over to the Ducks table to see their guys. The only thing that's not normal is that Ella doesn't go with them.

However, it's only a matter of seconds before she's over there too, joining in conversation with them, Julie, and Connie. I'm pulled out of my staring by Cole, who's basically yelling at me to get my attention. "Banksie? Banksie! Hellooooooo? BANKSIE!"

I whip my head around and try to play off the fact that I've been caught staring at Ella. "What's up?"

He and the rest of the team chuckle at my flusteredness, and I try to act normal. "Did you not hear Rick? We're going over to the soccer team to congratulate them. You coming or what?"

"Yeah, I'm coming." With that, I stand up from my chair and walk with the guys over to the soccer team's table.

The same senior who announced the results with Ella smiles as we approach them, and Rick starts to do the talking. "Hey Cal, just wanted to congratulate you guys on making it to the second round. Maybe this is your year."