old love, new love

chapter 14 {coming clean}

*tw: mention of miscarriage*

the next morning you felt horrible, you just wanted to stay in bed for the whole day. and that was exactly what you were planning on doing. you just started watching the 3rd episode of the day when there was a knock on your door. you ignored it and continued the series you were watching. "y/n can we please talk?" you hear Chris' voice say. "i don't have anything to talk about" you yell at him. "but i have, please i'm sorry okay" he yells back. you sigh and walk to the door and open it. "what do you wanna talk about?" you ask him a bit of irritation in your voice. "can i come in" he said with his best puppy dog eyes, that you just couldn't resist. "alright" you sigh as you let him in.

you both sit down. "i made a mistake" he says looking at you. "oh really?" you ask him sarcastically. "yeah, i don't want to take a break, i want to be with you" he says but you don't fully trust him anymore, not after what Sebastian had told you. "and what does Sebastian think of that" you say looking strictly at him. "what do you mean?" he asked confused. "oh so now you don't care what seb thinks of it. i thought if he would ask you to break up with me, you would do it without any doubt" you say back and you see Chris' sorry face. "i, that's not" he says struggling to get the words out. "what that's not how it went?" you ask him getting angry now. "i'm fairly sure that's how it went" you say.

"y/n that's not, he said it was okay with him if we continued dating" he says defending himself. "but what if he said he wasn't okay with it, would you really have broken up with me?" you ask him, now a sad look behind your eyes. "to be honest i don't know" he says sighing "i don't know if i could, because i'm really falling for you y/n. but also seb has been one of my best friends for years, i just don't want to throw that all away, you know" he says looking troubled. to be honest you could understand where he was coming from, but it still hurt. "i just, that shit hurt. thinking someone would break up with you that easily you know" you say looking down. "i know" Chris says moving closer to you. he slowly lifts your head up and sees your watery eyes. "i'm so sorry, i don't wanna lose you" he says in a whisper before he softly kisses you. you kiss him back and the kiss gets more heated.

you pull away from him to breath. "do you wanna be my girlfriend again?" he asks you, out of breath. "yes, but" you say to him "i want to take it slow. You've broken my trust a little". "i'm okay with that, as long as i can still kiss you" he says smiling. "that you can" you say smiling back before his lips are on yours again. "you should probably go to seb, he seemed upset by your conversation yesterday. seb did nothing wrong, he was just honest with me and a good friend. don't blame him for the stupid mistake i made" Chris said. "okay" you say realizing he was right, you've been kind of harsh to Sebastian. "i have to go, but promise me you'll go see him, even if it's just saying hello, okay?" he asks. "i will, good luck today" you say before you kiss him softly again before he leaves.

you take up on your promise to Chris and walk to seb's trailer and knock on the door. "come in" you hear Sebastian say. you walk in "hey seb" you say feeling a little guilty about yesterday. "hey" he says smiling softly at you "how are you?". "better" you answer "i'm sorry about yesterday, i wash a little harsh on you". "no you weren't, you were just telling me how you felt" he says. "i guess" you say softly. "hey did you actually mean that that you could see yourself living together with me back then and you know..." he says. you nod your head. "we never talked about kids did we?" he asks. there was that sting in your heart again, and clearly Sebastian noticed. "are you okay?" he asks, the question and the worried look on his face is enough to make you burst out crying. "hey what's wrong" he says worried as he wraps you in his arms. "i, i need to tell you something" you say crying.

"hey you can tell me anything, what's wrong." he says. you both sit down, seb's arm still around you. "you have to promise me you don't get mad that i didn't tell you" you say, tears still streaming down your face. "of course i could never get mad at you" he says softly as he slowly rubs your back. "i, uhm. 2 weeks after we broke up, I found out that" you say swallowing heard. were you really gonna tell him. he was going to hate you after this. but maybe you deserved that. "hey, you can tell me y/n" he says as he sees you struggle with your words. "i uhm, i found out i was..." you say looking down to your hands, as you start fidgeting with them. "i found out i was pregnant" you say bursting out crying again putting your head in your hands as you cry. "come here" he says pulling you close to him, stroking your back, trying to calm you down. "was it, was it. mine?" he asks softly. you nod, not able to talk as you cry.

"what happened" he asks as you had calmed down a little. "i, i don't know. one day i had these cramps. i was probably 3 months in. and they, they rushed me to the hospital and there was nothing they could do, to, to save it" you say as a single tear rolls over your cheek. Sebastian wipes your tears away with his thumb. '"aren't you mad?" you as him, expecting him to be mad about it. "no ofcourse not, but why didn't you tell me, you shouldn't have had to go through that alone" he says, with tears in his eyes as he hears your story. "i just felt so alone" you say softly "i missed you so much" you tell him as you wrap your arms around him even tighter than before. "i missed you too. i wish i never left" he says with so much emotion, it takes you all the way back to when you first met.

"do you, do you still love me?" you ask him, you didn't even know why you asked but it just slipped out. "i never stopped, i fucking love you y/n. you know how hard it is seeing you with Chris, when i know you so much better. i know you don't like to go out for diner but prefer to cook something together at home, especially pizza. i know you like relaxed nights in, instead of going out clubbing. i know how your body works, all your sweats spots. how you love it when i used to whisper sweet nothings into your ear. and that heavenly body of yours, your fucking perfect curves. i know you y/n. and i love you, forever" his last words make butterflies go crazy in your stomach and you kiss him deeply. feeling like this, this moment, was what you were waiting for, for those 2,5 years. you were waiting on him, telling you he still loved you as much as you loved him.