Survivor

28 (part 2) > "Well then we'd be willing to listen." ~ Enrico

"It is not the the strongest of species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." - Charles Darwin.
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It was dark out by the time we got home. When you had such a big family with each person sharing a different opinion, it takes forever to make a decision.

So I laid in the hospital bed, listening to team 'let Giovanna go home tonight' versus team 'Giovanna should stay longer'.

"Why don't I just sleep on the road?" I spoke up sarcastically. My statement caused everyone to turn and look at me with wide eyes. "What? In that way I satisfy both decisions." I told them plainly.

After that it was decided that they were taking me home. The cars came to a stop, parking side by side. I sighed in relief when I felt the familiarity set in. This really has become my home.

Just as I was about to open the car door it was yanked open, the cold air rushing in.

"I'm still alive, geez." I groaned out.

"No harm in checking." Someone retorted and I didn't bother finding out who it was.

"It turns out that being injured just brings out the sarcasm in you." Someone that sounded vaguely like Adriano commented.

"Nope, being shot does that. I heard it's not good for your health. Someone mentioned that it's a danger or something." I replied with my eyes closed and my head resting against the headrest.

My eyes opened to see all my cousins standing outside, as if it wasn't 10:30 at night.

"So, are you going to get out of the car?" Vincenzo asked.

"Or I could just stay here and catch up on my much needed sleep." I replied. "And plus," I began sheepishly. "I'm too lazy to move."

Before another word could be said I felt myself being lifted up in the air. My eyes immediately shot open to meet those eyes that were a spitting image of mine.

"You can go back to being lazy bambina."

"Thanks Rico." I mumbled as I snuggled into his arms trying to shield my upper body from the wind.

He carried me all the way upto my room, pulling the covers back as he set me on the bed. He slipped my shoes off and then covered me, tucking the duvet securely around me.

"You can ask what you want to ask." I told him as he was about to leave my room. He halted in his step at my words and turned around to face me.

"Ask?"

"About the scars." I told him plainly. "I know Jazz told you guys about them. And I knew Dad wanted to ask me about them earlier but he stopped himself."

Enrico let out a sigh as he made his way over to my bed and perched on the edge. It was then I noticed the bags under his eyes. He looked shattered, his posture not his usual upright stance. Instead his shoulders sagged forward slightly in a hunch, something I had never seen my older brother do.

And that's when I realised that I was to him, what Mia was to me. As an older sibling he felt the need to protect, care and love me. He worked hard with barely anytime for him to sit back, put his legs up and relax.

Now that I thought about it, the only time I knew he was truly resting, was when he was asleep. The lack of peace of mind, no breaks from work and the huge responsibilities he had to bare must drain him.

Day in and day out, the same repetitive cycle.

"As much as we want to ask, it's also your privacy that we have to consider. In the end it's your decision Gia, no one is going to force you to tell us." He replied simply. "Just remember one thing. Just because you carry it all so well, doesn't mean it isn't heavy. Not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry."

"And if-"

"If?" He prompted me, noticing that my voice had cracked.

"If I wanted to tell you guys?" I asked quietly.

"Well then we'd be willing to listen."

That statement, although comprising of only 7 words affected me.

When I had first stepped into the Accardi household, I didn't know that I'd someday consider it a home. That'd I'd refer to those within the walls as family, that I'd be loved.

I stepped in prepared for 4 long years, in which I'd keep my distance, respect the rules and protect Mia. I walked through those doors ready to survive the next 4 years which I thought would entail a lifetime of both physical and mental abuse, starvation and negligence.

I was prepared to be tossed aside, to remain in the shadows apart of the family by blood, not choice.

Instead I was met with a house with way too many rooms for me to understand, yet not once did it feel empty.

I walked in as a stranger, but got welcomed as family.

They chose to be related to me, not only by blood but by choice.

And I loved each and every single one of them for it.

I took a deep breath before speaking, "can you call the rest of our family up here?"

He watched me for a moment with a question in his eyes.

Are you sure?

I looked him straight in the eye, knowing that it held my answer as I remembered what he had told me earlier.

His statement taught me something.

We cannot become what we want to by remaining what we are.

Change can be hard whereas no extra effort is required to settle for the same old things. Autopilot keeps us locked up in past patterns such as remaining closed off.

But transforming your life? It requires courage, to face our demons, to make peace with them, to let them go.

Change scares us, it scares every fibre in our being. We fear the unknown. And that's what holds us back from progressing in life. That's what held me back from extending an arm to those who have been trying save me.

I have been constantly excepting my fate, and with each day that has passed I have sunk deeper and deeper into the clutches of the past. My past.

I have struggled to keep it away and the harder I tried, the deeper I sunk.

Like quick sand.

Except instead of continuing to succumb to the past, I choose to live.

To survive
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Thanks for reading
-Rain🖋