Survivor

29 > "You call that not being horrible?" ~Dante

My temperature was fairly high and I couldn't tell if it was due to my nerves or the fact that 8 people were inside my room alongside me. For once my comfortably, large spaced room felt rather small.

My stomach was in a bundle of nerves, my palms swearing madly. I wouldn't be able to hold a pencil even if I tried.

The knot present in my stomach tightened, as my mind raced. My thoughts were a blur, past memories flashing madly in my head and aiding in the newly formed headache.

I felt slightly sick all of a sudden.

"You know you don't have to do this." Rico whispered softly, noticing my internal panic.

I shook my head gently.

Despite the internal battle I faced, the portion of my mind telling me, screaming at me to not say anything, I remained firm in my decision. There was a piece inside of me that was afraid of rejection.

Who would want to deal with an abused daughter and sister when all she brings is a while lot of problems?

They are just going to abandoned you, the exact same way your own mother did.

Prep yourself to land back out on the streets.

They say that the fear of rejection is worse than the rejection itself.

At this time I can strongly believe this, for I was so afraid of the outcome that I had already mentally prepared for the worst.

"I'm sure you guys already know that Jennifer got married once again after she left. I was 4 turning 5 at that time." I began, not entirely sure on how to bring the subject up.

"His name is Greg Thompson and he's also Eleanora' biological father. He is also an addict. Both alcohol and drugs."

Someone in the room sucked in a breath when I mentioned the last part. I wouldn't know who it was as I occupied myself with fiddling with my duvet.

"I was better off before he came into our lives. Life was much more bearable and Jennifer wasn't that horrible. Occasionally I would receive a slap here and there, but that was it."

From the side of my eye I could a pair of hands clench, and I when I looked up, it was non other than Dad.

"You call that not being horrible?" Dante asked angrily from his spot by the doorway.

"Well she wasn't that bad until Greg came along."

"I swear to god, if he so much as-"
Gerardo' voice was drowned out by the threats of my other brothers.

Being seated in a room filled with 7 angry mafia men is not healthy.

"Boys." Nicole called out in warning an she gestures to me. They immediately shut up and turned back to me, allowing me to continue.

Story time is fun, do note the sarcasm.

"He was okay for the first few months or so, steering clear from me. The only time we ever interacted was when we had guests. I was still weary off him through. There was just something about him that made me feel...uneasy." I narrated having a hard time with piecing my thoughts together.

Ales who was seated on the bed gently grabbed one of my hands in his and squeezed it, offering me comfort for which I was grateful.

"It was the end of the term and school was closing for the summer. I was excited because school was finally over and I could meet my baby sister for the first time." I let out a dry laugh at the memory.