The Trouble With The Truth

Your mess is mine

EMILY'S POV:

"No, no, no, no, no, no" I repeated. "come on baby wake up...Y/n wake up"

"The ambulance is here" Blake shouted and before I knew it we were on our way to the hospital.

"She lost a lot of blood and her body probably went into shock. She's gonna be ok." the paramedic assured me. Though it provided some comfort, I still felt like I could vomit at the thought that she's hurting because of me.

"We've got her from here" the trauma nurse said as they took her away.

Everyone arrived shortly after as I was getting a few stitches on the side of my head and a bandage where the bullet grazed my side.

"How is she?" Reid asked.

"I don't know, no one's said anything to me." I said feeling depleted.

Just then a doctor came into the room,

"Y/n Y/l/n?" she asked.

"Yes," I blurted.

"Are you family?"

"I'm her fiancé" I could feel everyones eyes on me but I was only focused on the surgeon.

"She's going to be just fine. It was nothing life threatening and the only reason she went unconscious was really from stress, lack of food, and the pain."

I felt like I was just given my world back as I let out a breath of relief.

"when can I see her?" I asked eager.

"she's asleep right now, but as soon as you're done here, you can see her." the doctor was sweet and gave a reassuring smile.

Naturally I was anxious to get to Y/n so I was persistent with the nurse that I was fine. She finally let me go and I immediately went to Y/n.

She was sleeping as the sound of monitors beeped. I pulled the chair up as close as I could and took her hand in mine.

"I'm so sorry" I whispered as I started to cry. "I am so, so sorry."

"for being stupid?" her faint voice mumbled. I glanced up to see her eyes fluttering as a smirk began to spread across her face.

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

"Yeah, that too."I brought her hand to my lips.

"are you ok?" she asked as she noticed the stitches.

"yes, just superficial cuts, noting bad." I replied.

"good" she whispered.

"just get some rest honey, I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere,"

she nodded and let her eyes close again. My head raced with the different outcomes we could have had, and though this wasn't the perfect one, it wasn't the worst and for that I was beyond grateful.

NEXT MORNING, Y/n's POV:

"I'm leaving today" I argued with the nurse until she finally agreed to see if the doctor would sign my release form early.

"Let's get the hell out of here" I sighed, more than ready to get back to the house. However, I slowly began to realize the events that went down forty eight hours ago.

"Reid cleaned up a bit" Emily said softly as we walked inside.

I inhaled sharply. It was upsetting knowing what happened but I really only cared that I was with Emily.

I walked into the bedroom and started to shed my old clothes when Emily came and leaned in the doorway.

"Hey" she smirked.

"Come here" I motioned and she slowly walked up to me.

I pulled her into a heated kiss but she broke away.

"ah, ah, ah, you heard the doctor. One week." she managed to say in between my desperate attempts to kiss her.

"And we're actually gonna listen to her?" I asked almost surprised she was taking it seriously.

"You bet you ass we are. One week." she kissed me once more and brought over her favorite t-shirt for me to put on. I climbed into bed and she was quick to follow suit.

"I think we should probably talk Em." I whispered.

"yeah" she sighed.

"can I ask you a question?"

"of course anything." her eyes looked into mine with care and concern.

"why didn't you tell me any of what you went through?"

"I guess, its just a part of my life that I've wanted to forget." she said with her head hung low.

I nodded in understanding.

"But, if we're going to get married, we need to be open and honest with each other." I stressed.

"You're absolutely right." she agreed. There was a moment of silence until she spoke up again.

"Well, since we're being honest..." she started. "Do you want kids?"

"do you?" I asked,

"don't respond to my question with another question baby, just answer." she chuckled.

"I guess, I kind of always imagined us with a couple kids, yes. But if you don't want-"

"I do. I want to have a family with you. I want it all. With you." her voice was certain and comforting.

"Emily, I don't want you to conform just because I 'imagined' us with them. Things change and it's not a deal breaker if you don't want children someday." I said to her.

Given the circumstances of everything I just wanted her to know that I was her support and she didn't have to be someone she wasn't with me.

She brushed my hair behind my ear.

"Yn, I'm not 'conforming.' Before you, you're right I didn't see myself with kids really. But now, I want a family with you."

I nodded with a smile.

"I mean maybe not tomorrow but someday" she giggled and I had to laugh too.

Before too long we both had drifted off to sleep, or so I thought. I woke up around 3 am to find that Emily wasn't in bed. I got up and went to look for her and as I entered the living room, there she was curled up on the couch, balling.

"Em" I rushed over to her. "what's wrong?"

She didn't answer me.

"Emily" I stressed. "please talk to me."

"I had a dream and you weren't there and it was my fault and I just keep thinking about how it's my fault" she practically wheezed out through sobs.

"baby," I comforted her. "I'm right here." her head on my shoulder I held her in my arms.

"I've never had someone to lose Y/n and it scares me" she cried.

"It's supposed to." I whispered. "That's why they say love like there's no tomorrow."

She took a few deep breathes and wiped her eyes before placing both hands on my face, pulling me into a kiss."

She pulled away, resting her forehead on mine as she breathed out,

"let me love you like that"