What's worse? Having the guy you've been in love with for a long time get another woman pregnant or finding out that the guy you were catching feelings for is a murderer? I couldn't even tell anymore. I felt like a thousand trucks had run over me in the past few months. After crying non-stop for a few days, only getting out of bed to go to the bathroom and eating the bare minimum to keep my stomach from protesting, I felt like every single emotion had been drained out of my body for good. I no longer felt sad, nor did I have any tears left to cry. I was now an empty vessel.
Bored in bed, I decided to take a look at my phone, which had become a difficult task because there was, in fact, something I was actually feeling: weakness. My mind had shut down, but my body felt sick still. And that sucked.
Among all the messages from Kai, which had gone from desperate attempts to get back together a week ago to genuine concern for my well-being, there was one message from Ran and a few from Sarah. Oh, I also had a few missed calls from Kai and Sarah. 39, to be exact.
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In an effort not to respond to Ran, I sent a message to Sarah instead, asking her if she wanted to come over. Half an hour later she was already knocking on my door.
-Don't lie to me and tell me you're fine. I know you too well for that shit.
That was the first thing she told me as soon as I opened the door. I exhaled a weak chuckle before letting her in.
-Want something to drink?
I offered, heading for the couch.
-No. I want to know what happened.
-You're right, I'm not okay. But I don't feel like talking about it.
-Well, then. You're gonna have to tell me sooner or later, though.
-I know. Just... not now.
-Okay. Then tell me about the sexy man who came to pick you up at school the other day.
Shit. Little does she know that she still hasn't changed the topic.
-You saw him?
-I mean, who didn't? I was around campus and everyone was looking at him and wondering who he was waiting for. Imagine the way my jaw dropped to the floor when I saw you. Who is he? I can't believe you haven't told me about him.
-He's just a friend. His name's Ran.
I dismissed the question with a hand gesture, making it seem like he wasn't important to me. I didn't want to tell Sarah about the horrible truth I had discovered about Ran. For some stupid reason, I still wanted to protect him.
-Yeah, right. Since when don't you tell me about your flings? Are you afraid I won't approve of them as I did with K-Kai?
Sarah feigned retching at the mention of Kai's name, which caused a chuckle to slip out of my mouth.
-Look, I'm not gonna judge you for moving on fast. You deserve it. And hey, between you and me, that Ran guy was hot as fuck. And that car? Whew. Secure the bag, girl.
This time I didn't feel like laughing anymore. Seeing my best friend hyping up my relationship with Ran only made it harder for me to be adamant and cut him out of my life. For a second I actually considered telling Sarah everything, but I could predict what her reaction would be and I didn't want her to be concerned like Kai was. I also felt like I would take offense to Sarah's insults towards him and would try to defend him.
Damn. I'm beyond saving, am I?
To avoid all that, I concluded that changing the subject was the smartest thing I could do.
-Now that we're talking about it, what about Oliver?
-Wait, how do you know?
Sarah looked at me with furrowed brows.
-I mean, it was pretty obvious. He always looks at you like you're the only person in the room.
-Does he?
Sarah lowered her eyes, with the beginning of a smile playing on the corners of her lips and a slight blush spreading across her face.
I don't think I had ever seen her like that. Sarah wasn't a relationship girl. She sometimes met guys through dating apps or at nightclubs, but she'd never had a crush, been in love or anything like that. I envied that about her: I wasn't a relationship person either, at least not until Kai, but I couldn't help but catch feelings. I felt vulnerable whenever I liked someone, and it wasn't a feeling I personally enjoyed. To finally see her all giggly about someone was strange to say the least, but it was also really cute.
When she found me smiling at her, she nudged me with an offended expression.
-It's not funny, okay!
She cleared her throat before continuing:
-Well, the thing is I had no idea he was interested in me, but he's been texting me for a few days now, like clearly flirting and stuff. He told me today was his day off and asked me to go to the club, but I don't wanna go alone.
I started to shake my head as soon as I understood where the conversation was headed.
-You know I love you and I'd love to third wheel for you, but today's not the day.
She laughed at the third wheeling part, but her expression quickly changed upon hearing the last sentence.
-Please, Y/N. What if this is my only chance?
-Don't worry, it won't be.
-You don't know that. What if he meets another girl at the club?
-He's literally head over heels for you. Plus, you've never struck me as the jealous type.
I mocked her with a smirk.
-Pleeaaaseeee...
I had expected her to hit me or yell at me, but begging? That right there, my friends, was complete and utter desperation.
-Fine, I'll go with you. But let me get my bottle of gin first. I'm gonna have to get drunk pretty damn early to feel like getting into a club.
