The head boy

Part 51 - Coward

I don't really believe in fate, I think we build our destiny by making choices, I think we can change our fate by doing something unlike us, I think it's up to us to decide what our future will be made of. No, I don't believe in fate. However I believe in Kala being behind all this, Tom would never be an instructor during summer and most probably would not want to be anywhere near me either...

So maybe Kala is fate or maybe fate is Kala but either way I don't really think it was a good idea.

I've been idealising Tom for months, telling myself he's perfect and I don't deserve him but now that I've seen him I feel this unexpected anger rushing through me, I didn't ask for that kiss, I didn't want to mess everything up, I didn't want to give up, I wanted to fight for us but he let me no choice, he fired me, he made me jobless and loveless in one sentence.

He let go, he didn't fight, he's a coward and now this coward is in the same summer camp as me somewhere lost in Idaho...

We haven't talked, both stunned and completely shocked, which tells me that he didn't come here for me, great...

"So...surprise..." Kala shakes her hands like 'ta-da' but all she gets from me is a blank stare. I'm not mad at her for doing something, however I can't say I'm happy she did it...

"Why did you trick him like that? He's probably gonna think that I did this and is gonna hate me even more," He followed Ben, our chief, to his cabin and didn't even talk to me. We haven't seen each other in three months for heaven's sake! And did he really say 'stock market' or was it just me? Three months, and my face reminds him of the stock market? Is that even nice? Is it because there's fluctuations? One day I'm okay and the next I look ugly or something?? The more I think, the more angry I feel.

"Lin and I just-"

"Lin is involved?" Now that's unexpected.

"We just thought this could not be the end of PAAZ's power couple," she shrugs and I snort at her choice of words.

"He barely even looked at me..." I mutter under my breath. I've been miserable for weeks, unable to think of anyone else but him knowing that not respecting his decision would make things worse, and he just looks like he's been busy and cold, the usual.

"Who knows what's going on inside his head, maybe he can't even look at you because this passion he's been trying to tame is on the verge of bursting out everytime he sees your face or-"

"It's not funny, Kala. I really...don't need hope, you know Tom, when he's made a decision, he sticks to it," For Tom Edmonstone I am a ghost of the past and now, I get to be reminded of that everytime he looks at me...

(William's POV)

"So that was your plan all along..." he's mad, so mad.

"Well of course, the only reason why I'm not ripping your heart out, and that's assuming you have one, is because my friend needs it back," Lin folds her arms across her chest.

"You have no right to interfere in this!" He booms. There's something so unusual about his attitude, almost like he's afraid of something. "I'm leaving anyway, I'll call a jet, a bus, I'll call the army if I have to, but I'm not staying here even another minute," he takes out his phone and groans as he, I assume, realises that there's no signal. He's trapped here, we all are.

He slumps on his bed and exhales extensively. "Why did you do that...?" We can barely hear the words coming out of his mouth. "I was learning how to do well without her and I was doing good..."

A meaningful silence settles in as we all think about it for a second, "Were you though?" Lin says and her words make Tom lean his head on his open palms like he can't bear its weight anymore.