The head boy

Part 46 - Please, time, stop

What the fuck. Three words that can be used together in so many different situations. I know I shouldn't say bad words but I argued with my boyfriend over this, I promised him he was wrong, I was mad at him because I thought he was wrong but what the fuck is this other boy doing kissing me?

What the fuck? Why are his lips on mine?

What the fuck? What should I do right now?

What the fuck just... what the fuck...

I can't push him away too harshly, people in the crowd think it's part of the show, if I make a fuss out of it it could ruin the whole day. So I slowly place my hands on his chest to apply pressure, hoping he'll get the hint that I want him to: Pull the FUCK away!

He doesn't bulge and as I feel him so close, his hands on my body, his lips on my face all I can think about is Tom, he was right and the longer this kiss lasts the more stressed I am, it's like with every millisecond passing by he is moving farther and farther away from me, like the more I wait the more he will be reluctant to the idea of addressing me ever again.

I'm trapped, I can't do anything because of what the people will think and yet the more I wait, the more the one person I care about will be hurt.

When I finally manage to push Sebastian away I'm sure he can see fear in my eyes, not because of him but because of all the consequences of what he just did. On the other hand, he just smirks at me, his usual fucking smirk, not bothered by the least by what he just did.

He then brings the microphone to his lips, "thank you all for coming!" he says and as the crowd starts fading I run out of the stage.

He's somewhere in the crowd, maybe if I'm fast enough I'll be able to catch him before he leaves because I know he'll leave, he won't confront Sebastian, not today anyway, he'll just leave, disappointed in me, furious, frustrated, broken-hearted...

"Ida wait!" Sebastian grabs my arm and I just try to rip it away from him but his grip is too tight for me to fight it.

Without thinking, I bring my palm to his face and slap him as hard as I can. He blinks but doesn't bulge. "I must admit," He caresses the reddish cheek, "I saw that one coming."

"What the fuck!! What the fuck!! What the fuck. Is wrong. With you??!" I slam my hands against his chest again and again.

"Ida, Ida!" He stops me by grabbing both my wrists.

"You knew what it would do if you did what you did, and you did it anyway!" I shout at him.

He breathes harshly as he looks at me, his face not amused anymore, "I love you," he blurts and I start to shake my head slowly. "And I know you care about me, even if you don't love me yet it's not important, I could give you so much and all you'd have to give me in return is you," I don't believe him, I can't believe anything coming out of his mouth anymore. "No one has ever interested me like that, no one has ever managed to catch my attention for so long and no one has ever taken time to understand me, to see me as what I really am and not what I want everyone to see," he sounds so desperate, his grip around my wrists is tightening while his piercing blue eyes stare at mine.

"Bullshit..." I spit.

"I love you."

"Bullshit!"

"No! I love you!!" We shout at each other, we look crazy, we sound like we're about to commit a crime and breathe like we just ran a marathon.

"Shut up!"

"No!" His grip tightens around my wrists, "you're not fucking going anywhere! It's over with that fucking son of a bitch! He's gone, he doesn't deserve you, it's over! But I'm here..." he tries to place his hand on my cheek.