No Angel ~ mason mount

S2. Part twenty seven

Staring at the pitch black bedroom ceiling, Maeve seemed to have a vivid flashback echoing around her brain. A flashback from when she was around 12 and was being bullied at school. She remembered laying in her childhood bedroom with teary eyes in the blackness, her dad holding her hand tight as he cuddled up next to her before making a statement that suddenly was very appropriate; 'life is like a heartbeat, my love. Every time things get better, they're always going to drop a little bit too. But every time they get worse, they'll always pick back up.'

Maeve couldn't deny that the past six months of new parenthood had been perfect. Having her own child to cuddle up to, to care for day in day out, and her own perfect husband. But the inevitable was near, the dreaded down fall to follow the positive times. She sighed, her teary eyes locked on nothing but blackness that fell above her. The child was sleeping contently in his own bedroom, in his little cot for the first time in days. Mason lay sound asleep next to her, his light snores muffled slightly as he lay with his back to his wife. It was no secret that the sleepless nights, the long days of Mason training and competing, and the cabin fever of Maeve on her own with the child at all times had been creating problems. Every word of every argument seemed to come back to her at this time every night. She just wasn't happy. It was a statement that broke her heart to acknowledge, she adored her husband to pieces and she knew he felt the same about her. But she was tired. She felt under appreciated, and lonely, and although this was the life she had signed up for when she had married a footballer and carried his child, she doubted this was the life she wanted anymore.

Her thoughts were luckily interrupted as the child began screaming, Mason not even stirring in his sleep after a week away for two legs of Chelsea games in Spain. She wouldn't have expected him to tend to their child after all. So she sat up, wiping her eyes and trudging towards the nursery bedroom where Theo remained sat in his cot with his hands grabbing towards his mother.
"Come on then, sweetie," she whispered, picking him up and placing a kiss on his head as he snuggled into her chest. Within seconds, he had quietened back down and Maeve used the opportunity to sit down on the window seat in the corner of his room, the child still against her chest. The pattering of rain was loud tonight, the drops glazing over her eyes as she looked over the garden. She sniffed, quietly sobbing to herself as the memories of playful football matches in the garden bounced through her brain, play fights in the pool, sunbathing on the sun loungers as Mason massaged sun cream into her shoulders and down her back. She wanted him so much. She adored him. But her tired brain was so confused. She just needed a break from everything.

"Mouse?" She heard a whisper from the doorway. She turned to see a silhouette topped with messy hair and broad yet kind shoulders emerging from the landing. "Is everything ok? I rolled over and you weren't there," Mase whispered, walking into the bedroom with a genuine concern on his face, just shining through the darkness. He would have been lying if he was to tell himself he didn't regret the harsh words that came between them before falling asleep.

The front door clicked open, an exhausted looking footballer strolling in as his wife and child sat at the table. Maeve attempting to enthusiastically encourage the child to eat whilst he playfully threw his plastic cutlery across the table from his high chair. She closed her eyes, praying to herself they may be some positive interaction between them both, but it was rare seeing how little they saw eachother now he was always training, and Maeve was always sleeping when he wasn't, then up all night again on her own with the child waiting for him to leave again the following morning.
"Hey little man, hey baby," he smiled, strolling into the kitchen and pulling his training coat hood down. Maeve couldn't help but smile to herself slightly, as Mason placed a kiss on her head.
"How was your day?" He asked, running his fingers through her hair.
"It was okay, he was a little bit sick earlier and been abit stroppy since but it's nearly bed time Atleast," Maeve chuckled slightly, her eyes only just meeting his. He smiled to her for a second, as though he was thinking about something.
"I'm going to go and shower and get to bed. Got a big match tomorrow," Mason kicked his shoes off and headed for the stairs. Maeve didn't bother saying a word, knowing his work would always need to be priority and of course she wouldn't have wanted it any other way. She just missed him, she missed them. As he got to the bottom of the staircase, he stopped, freezing in his steps as he turned back to the direction of the kitchen.
"Have I done something to upset you?" Mason asked, his eyebrows lowered slightly. Maeve was about to defend herself, but realised she shouldn't lie to her husband, who she adored and respected regardless of their situation.
"You haven't done anything, Mase. I'm just struggling abit. You're never here anymore, and it gets tiring on my own. I just stay in this house by myself trying to bring up a child on my own, knowing I can't work, and all my friends are only friends with me through you," she accidentally blurted her feelings out a little too harshly.
"I'm sorry, I know you deserve better," he stumbled on his words, looking to the floor.
"But Mase I don't want better, I just want you. I want us,"
"It'll go back to how it was, my love, it's just a busy spell of matches at the moment," he knelt down next to the chair she sat at, placing his hands on her knees as he pleaded for more hope through her eyes.
"It won't, Mase. You've been saying this for months, it's like you're avoiding me. And Theo,"
"You think I'm choosing it to be like this?" He lowered his eyebrows, somewhat hurt.
"I know it's not your fault, but it doesn't make it any easier,"
"I'm sorry you're struggling and I'd hate to turn this round on me, but Maeve how do you think I feel leaving you both every morning and every night?! The stress I've put you under, I go to training not knowing whether you'll even have stuck around for when I'm back!"
"I'd always be here, Mase,"
"Why?! I can just tell by your tone and the way you look at me that you hate how I've been making you feel lately. In fact if you hate it so much, why don't you just do what's best for you and leave?" He fought back tears as he stood up.
"Is that what you want?!" Maeve argued back, poor Theo innocently taking in the scene unfolding from his high chair.
"I didn't say that. Don't twist my words," Mason shook his head, his stern gaze meeting hers.
"Just go to bed, Mason. I'll see you when I see you," she huffed, taking Theo out of his high chair and heading to the sofas, leaving the footballer in the middle of the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, baby," Mason whispered, his voice quivering slightly as he sat down on the chair in the window next to her. She turned her eyes to follow him, his own locked on hers.
"It's fine, babe. I'm sorry too, I know you're tired and I am too," she whispered through a sniff, the child happily sleeping by her chest.
"I'm not good enough for you. You don't deserve this," he shook his head, his gaze falling to the floor as he grasped his hands tightly together.
"You're more than good enough. Don't ever doubt yourself, gorgeous," she replied with a shake of her head, using her free hand to grasp his own. He held it tightly, pulling it to his mouth before placing a strong kiss on it.
"I love you so much, my gorgeous baby," he pursed his lips together in a strengthening smile.
"And I love you, my handsome boy."
The moment was interrupted as Mason removed his hand and pulled his phone out of his jogger pockets as he sat topless, the glow from his phone screen lightening the room slightly.
"What are you-"
"I'm texting Tuchel, I'm not going tomorrow. I've been subbed anyway, I'll just tell him to take me off the bench. You're more important."
"Mason, you don't need to do that. Your job is so important,"
"I know I don't need to, but I want to. They can last one day without me, but I can't last another day without my wife and that's for sure."