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Operation: Dard and Devotion - A story by @sprinkleofhayat

Review-

Originality: 4/5

Your story seems pretty original. Definitely a type of story I wouldn't read myself but you seem to know what you are talking about and that definitely helps. There are a lot of twists in the two chapters I read and a lot of drama. I suggest making the pace a little bit slower, gives it a bit more suspense. I also think that I will give you a four.

Grammar and Punctuation: 5/5

I am not a grammar expert but the grammar looked perfect to me. I will give you a five for that.

Book Cover: 2/3

To be honest, the book cover isn't really appealing to me. It looks cheap and done in a hurry. Although I am not an expert in cover making, I would recommend adding an effect of some kind on the edges on the strip of black in the middle. Maybe like a fading effect or a paper ripping effect. It would suit your story too. The photo on the cover looks fine to me. I also don't like the font of the title. I give you a three.

Character: 3/5

You seem to have portrayed your character, well, okay-ish. I liked the way you italized the thoughts of your character and ut it in a seperate line but it's not enough. You need to describe how he feels instead of stating the obvious. Like if you want to say "he was scared." You could describe the way his plams were sweaty and how his heart beating as fast as a racing car. It's just a suggestion. I will give you a three.

Dialogue: 2/5

Your dialogue is pretty good. I liked the way you had a little bit of a different language. Although, I noticed she screamed/shouted a lot. I know, I know, she is in distress, she has just seen someone die. It could be in her personality, to scream a lot, but all I'm saying is that I think you should dial it down a little bit.

Plot: 3/5

I think your plot is kind of cliche. I have seen and read many stories where the victim falls in love with it's abducter. I'm just saying, you wrote it very well but it's a cliche plot. Well, that's just my opinion. I'm giving you a three.

Is your story interesting?: 5/5

Definitely interesting. If I were a teacher I would give you an A++ for interesting. I would definitely read the rest of this book. (If I had time) :)

Overall Rating: 24/40