CLOSED FOR CRITIQUES!!! [closed]

Even Princes Have Secrets - A story by @silentangel56

Review-

Hi! I just want to start off by saying your sentences are way too long. Sometimes if it is too long you will bore your readers to death and they will be annoyed and they will stop reading and they won't read anymore of your work. (See that really, really long sentence there? Wasn't that boring?) Let's see, I'm just trying to prove a point. You should be using a variety of short and long sentences so that it keeps them occupied and create some sort of suspense.

I loved the way you described what was around her and what she was feeling. Sometimes even great writers forget to explain their surroundings. You did a really good job of that!

There were only a few things I saw that needed a little bit of correcting, your grammar and your tense. I didn't know if you were writing in past or present tense and it kind of confused me. There are only a few grammar mistakes that I saw but you should take them under consideration too. Read your book out loud, it helps. Here is your rating:

Rating: 8.2 / 10

Overall this story was really good! I hope you keep it up! Thanks and bye!