CLOSED FOR CRITIQUES!!! [closed]

The Advent One: Will Of The Rune - A story by @Bolvian

Review-

You describe the scenes very well but sometimes I think it's too much. I got quite bored during the middle bit but that is just my opinion. You should just drop a little bit of explanation because it will bore other readers as well.

I really like the way Hal changes colour when he's in a different mood. The relationship between Hal and Casimir is very realistic. You should keep going with that.

I saw a few grammar mistakes but nothing a good editor can't fix. You should add a big twist of some sort in the next chapter that will hook the readers in more.

I think you should add a big twist at the end of each and every chapter. That way, you can almost guarantee that they will read the next chapter.

Here is you rating:

Rating: 9.0 / 10

You did a very good job on describing the scenes. Good luck on your future chapters.