CLOSED FOR CRITIQUES!!! [closed]

Wage - A Poem by @lukeman14

Review-

First of all, I just want to say that your poem is really good though I wish you could add like more feeling words. Tell us more about how the writer feels about it, tell us why it happened. Is it because the government overtook them? Is it because the people want a revolution? I don't know. Though, I liked how you just made enough information so that readers will want to move on.

Another thing, maybe you should make it a bit shorter? I don't know, like I said I have never critiqued a poem before so maybe I am wrong. I think you should make it a bit shorter is because some of it is repeated.

Also, another suggestion.I think you should make the ending like end on a higher point? Like I don't know, maybe a loved one dying? I think it will leave a bigger dent in other people's hearts and leave them in despair or something... I know I might be cruel for saying that but it means that your poem is effective. And you want it to be effective. Here is your rating:

Rating: 7.2 / 10

This is a really good poem but will need a wee bit of tweaking if it were up to me. Good job! Keep writing!