So On

Chapter 17 - Not A Daddy's Girl

     Princes, castles, unicorns, fancy dresses and tea parties - mix those shit up and you got yourself a typical little girl's fantasy.

     Just a fantasy.

     When I was six, I was very much in love with the idea of being a princess. I mean, why not? I lived in a big house (big because I was a midget back then), we had maids clean our rooms and prepare our food everyday, I had a room full of toys and a closet full of dresses, and I was pampered by everyone in the house.

     My mom was beautiful and had an aura of sheer authority, but she was kind - she still is - so she could be a queen. And my dad, well, he earned the respect and trust of his clients (which I used to call 'his people') because of his positive attitude and skillful works. I was proud of him. My dad was my king.

     Was.

     A few years later, I turned twelve. My life was still full of all the comfort and luxuries my parents could afford. They didn't allow me to experience any hardships because I was their precious little girl, their princess. And I believed all that.

      My dad and I were very close. He used to take me downtown all the time while mom was at work. He would lift me up and carry me on his shoulders with my legs locked around his neck. It was amazing. I could see everything and everyone.

     When we got home, mom would always scold us for being late for dinner and she'd get mad at dad for feeding me spicy snacks again. It was my favorite flavor because he introduced it to me.

     I loved my family. My life was perfect.

     But one day, things got different.

     The usual jokes my parents exchanged in the living room turned into heated arguments, the warm smiles turned into frowns, the soft and loving way they'd stare into each other's eyes turned to hard glares.

     They were falling apart.

     I knew my parents were fighting, but they tried to keep it hidden from me. But I knew. I was twelve. I wasn't stupid.

     Soon, dad would rarely come home. Whenever he did, he'd look dead tired and wouldn't even spare me a glance. He used to kiss my cheek and pat my head whenever he got home from work, now all I got from him was a cold shoulder.

     Mom would go out to work, and dad and my usual trips downtown were no more. He completely ignored me.

     Leo was my best friend since that time. He'd come over our house and play whenever I was alone. He never left me. He knew what was going on since his mom and my mom worked together in the same bank.

     I didn't hate my dad. I was willing to understand his reasons for ignoring me. Maybe he was just tired. Maybe he was just lonely. Maybe he was just confused.

     Leo and I were playing video games in my room one day when I heard someone enter our kitchen. I quickly got up and raced downstairs. I knew dad was home. I haven't seen him in weeks. I missed him so much.

     As I slowly crept in the kitchen, I saw him open up a bottle of beer before he chugged it down. His tie was loosened around his neck and his hair was dishevelled. He looked older than usual because of the beard on his face.

     He opened and drank one bottle after another. Soon, the table was full of empty beer bottles. And he was still drinking.

     I wanted to cheer him up just like he cheered me up whenever I was sad. I walked up to him and tried my best to smile. I wanted him to smile too. He looked at me with dead eyes and then looked away like he didn't care. But I didn't believe that. I knew he wasn't always like this.