So On

Chapter 37 - Late Night Texts

I stood frozen as Sam pressed his lips on mine. When he realized how unresponsive I was, he slowly pulled away, his hands still on my cheeks.

I couldn't look at him. I was confused. What was going on? My head's about to explode.

Just as he was about to open his mouth, we heard a loud noise from somewhere. It sounded like one of the lockers got punched or something. Was someone still here?

"Sorry," he mumbled, ignoring the noise just now. His hands freed my cheeks and found their way inside his pockets. "I couldn't help it."

I was still quiet. There's no right thing to say here. I'm not even mad at him. But I should be. I just don't know what to feel anymore.

"Mira?" He said. I didn't look up. "Remember when I told you that if I do something stupid, it's just purely out of instinct, and you're free to kick me or punch me?" I nodded, recalling him saying that after he confessed to me ages ago. "Yeah, you can do that now."

I can't do that.

He said himself he couldn't help it. And he's been so nice to me these days and I can't keep taking advantage of that kindness. But did he still like me? Why did he kiss me? What do I do? I stood still for another few seconds, contemplating my thoughts. Guess it made him panic.

"I'm so sorry Mira, I won't ever do that again I promise."

He looked so guilty that I had to feel sorry for him.

"It's okay Sam," I finally said. "But, yeah. Just don't ever do that again."

A heard a breath of relief when I told him that. "I still don't feel assured. Can you kick me?"

I snorted as I finally looked at him. "You a masochist now too?"

Everybody wants to get kicked or punched by me these days.

"No," he said a bit childishly, trying to prove his point. "But that's your thing right? You punch or kick the accused, then it's settled?"

I raised my brows to say something in defense but then I realized he was right. I just shrugged my shoulders. "Well, not today. I'm tired."

"I'm sorry," he insisted, looking like a guilty puppy. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I told you it's fine. Now stop apologizing before I really do punch you."

A playful smile appeared on his face as I elbowed him. This was still a bit awkward, but not as much as earlier.

I'm still confused. Did he still like me? Or was that just purely out of instinct?

I grabbed my phone and texted Leo to come get me at school. After that I walked to my locker to get my stuff. Sam followed me as usual.

"Are you okay? What happened?" He asked.

I wanted to tell him. I really did. But the subject regarding my father was too touchy. And personal.

Ha.

Who am I kidding? The truth was, I only wanted Brandon to know about my breakdowns when it came to my dad. This weak side of me was reserved only for him to see, unfortunately.

And the worst thing was, he's the only one who can calm me down. And now he's gone.

Damn all these negativity to hell.

"Just ran into something unpleasant," I said nonchalantly. "Leo's picking me up. Wanna come with? Your house is in the same way right?"

He politely shook his head. "Thanks, but I gotta stop by somewhere first."