So On

Chapter 30 - My Heart Is Stupid As Potato

Toss. Toss. Turn. Toss. Turn. Turn. Cry.

I hesitantly opened my eyes at the rays of light peeking from my curtains. Grumbling and squinting at the blinding light, I earnestly thought about how useless a human being I was. "Ah, the sun."

It's morning already. Wow. I didn't sleep a wink. Wow. I'm still alive. Wow. Wow.

I'm so tired and my face feels sticky.

I got up from bed and walked like a zombie to our bathroom. Lucky it was Saturday. But regardless whether it was a weekend or not, I still wouldn't go out today.

Today sucks.

My life sucks.

I suck.

After splashing my face with some cold water, I somehow felt a bit bitter - I mean better. Ugh. I'm so tired. But I still can't sleep.

I was on my way back to my room when Nichole flicked my forehead. I jumped from the shock because 1.) Where the hell did she come from? And 2.) Ow, that hurt.

Instead of saying my usual complaints, I just stared at her while rubbing my forehead. I didn't have the energy to be myself today. I just want to sleep.

She folded her arms as she studied my face. "What happened to you?"

I shook my head, meaning nothing. I just didn't feel like talking. Uuugh.

A few seconds later, her expression softened, almost as if she was about to cry. But maybe that was just me. She suddenly sighed heavily before hugging me so tight you'd think I was gonna die tomorrow.

Which, I probably will if I keep living like the useless human being that I am. No, gorilla would suit me better. Let me rephrase that:

I might die tomorrow if I keep living like the useless gorilla that I am.

Better.

But my nonsense can wait. Let's get back to Nichole. She groaned and sighed and grumbled. I don't know what's up with her. "Mira, hit me."

It took me a good five seconds to let that sink into my brain. "What? Why?"

"Just hit me." She said firmly after she broke the hug. Confused, I punched her lightly on the shoulder, because I know that's the only way for her to tell me what's going on.

She gave me a look that said 'did you even try?' but didn't ask me to hit her again. Actually, I could've hit her harder, but like I said, I had no energy today. What time was it anyway, like six in the morning?

"Oh, God," she sighed heavily again, burying her face in her hands. "I'm so sorry. I'm horrible. I'm sorry."

What? What?

"What?" I asked. She slowly lifted her head and didn't bother forcing a smile. She knew better than to pretend to look okay in front of me.

"Leo and I fought again last night."

I looked at her strangely, something pricked the little monster inside my chest. "Over the phone?"

She shook her head. "No, after the movie when everyone left, he stayed behind for a few hours. We were in my room, you were kinda out of it last night so maybe you didn't notice us."

I nodded, smacking myself mentally. I always pick the perfect times to be stupid. She continued.

"It was just a small fight. A stupid fight. I'm so stupid."

I'm confused here. And my brain wasn't actually in perfect condition to process anything properly. I looked at my best friend. She looked so down and guilty. And here I was, feeling the exact same thing, for an entirely different reason. "But why'd you apologize to me?"