So On

Chapter 38 - How To Get Yourself Killed

I can't wait to talk to him.

It's today. I couldn't sleep last night because I kept visualizing how he'll look at me, if he'll ever smile at me again, and I kept wondering what he'll say, if he'll confess, if he'll apologize, if he'll forgive me...

I miss him so much.

But I'm too nervous. I hope I don't screw things up again. This is like my last chance.

I took a deep breath. You can do this Mira. Just listen to your guts.

The whole day went by like a millennium. An exaggeration, but that's how I felt. I just couldn't concentrate in any of my classes in anticipation of my long-awaited talk with Brandon.

But I didn't get it though, when he said he'll reveal himself tomorrow - I mean now - what did he mean? Will he meet me? Will he just text me? Did he get my hidden message?

I groaned in my thoughts. My hopes are rising again. I'm setting myself on fire again. But that's okay. I really think things are gonna go well this time.

Just stay positive Mira.

I didn't have class in our last period. The teacher allowed us to go home already because of some family emergency. I think I heard people say his wife was giving birth at the moment. Happy father's day to our dear teacher then.

So, when the rest of my classmates did go home, I didn't. I waited until Brandon's class was finished. I mean, I don't know why I did, he didn't actually say we'd talk at school but...

I don't know.

Nichole and Leo still had class too, so while I'm waiting for that potato, I'll be waiting for them too, since they're my ride home.

I waited near Leo's car in the parking lot. I had no where else to go. I saw Sam with his friends walk out of the school building looking as hyper as usual. Well duh, no class dude. Especially on a Friday. That was something to get hyped about.

He saw me sitting alone in the parking lot so he left his boys for a bit and jogged towards me.

"Waiting for them?" He asked. I nodded with a small smile. Okay, this was still a bit awkward. I mean, he did kiss me. And he still didn't give me a clear reason why he did it.

He looked over his shoulder to see if his friends were still there. They were. And they were looking at us like we were celebrities making a scandal.

As usual, my way of describing things is horrid. Just get the gist of it please.

Sam played with his hands a bit, something he did whenever he was nervous. I stood up from my sitting position. Something tells me this was important.

"Listen," he mumbled, avoiding my eyes. "I'm sorry again for kissing you. Turns out I still liked you after all, and after seeing you like that, I just couldn't help it."

I was about to say something but he kept going, not allowing me to interrupt.

"I know Brandon will have my head for that, that's why I'll apologize to him too. I just don't want to make things awkward between us. And yeah, I know I don't stand a chance so that's why this time for real, I'm stepping down. I won't do anything like that again. You're a great friend and you honestly made me really happy. So can you... like... I mean... Still be my friend? No funny business."

I sighed in relief while giving him a smile. He always makes things easier and he always takes the load off a lot of things. He was too pure this kid. I'm suddenly happy that there are still people like him in the world.