Moving Forward

1. Taehyung

I stood in front of the mirror, looking at myself. I had somewhere to go and didn't have much time to bother about my face today. But these days I found myself looking at the mirror more often. I could see lines now, thin lines across my forehead whenever I frowned. They weren't there ten years ago. No matter how tired and unslept I was then, my face was always perfect and impeccable. Yes, I had makeup on but even without it there were no lines. Now the lines were undeniable. In three years I would be 40.

I liked it. The lines. My face was finally turning into a man's. I had also completely shed the boyish charms. I do not do aegyo anymore, finally. I smiled at the thought. It had come to a point when it was almost painful, for all of us, to keep doing that. We laughed it off backstage, but it was hard to face myself in the mirror in those days.

We have not seen each other for almost seven years now, not since the fallout. Save for one, we all took separate paths and did our best not to look back. Because it was too painful. It hurt too much to remember. Yes, we had to end at some point. But none of us ever imagined BTS would end the way it did.

I saw my eyes watering in the mirror. I have to stop this. In a few minutes I have to leave for an interview. I have taken the path everyone expected. I am an actor now, and have just finished a period series. Now there will be endless interviews where I will repeat everything over and over. Nothing much has changed, actually. I just don't dance anymore, and when I sing it's mostly for the soundtrack. What I dabbled in a little bit before I now do full time. I tried to venture on my own, make my own songs, but it was too hard to organize without the usual machinery. Eventually my friends decided my path for me. I'm happy, I guess.

Namjoon was the biggest surprise for all of us. I thought he would get into art, but he metamorphosed into something totally different for me. I never imagined he would be a crooner. Rap, hip-hop, yes, but jazz? The blues? I thought that would be my path, but it became his. He is so famous now, in his own niche. Singing in Korean, with the whole world singing with him, he is truly the leader of BTS.

Like mine, Seokjin's path also came as no surprise. He has patented Eat Jin and has a regular TV show where he travels and tastes the best food at every destination. Often joined by other celebrities, he has used his network to make partners for his ever growing chain of restaurants. Occasionally he still has dinner with Bang PD-Nim.

Yoongi is a producer. Finally out of the limelight and into the backroom where he felt he always belonged. He has gone deep into his interests and produces Korean rap and traditional music. Not everyone can relate to it, but he has fully conquered a powerful part of Korean culture and has represented our country in many occasions. Some nights I heard he raps live in underground clubs.

Hobi is still with HYBE as its principal choreographer. Trainees complain about him constantly for being intolerant of mistakes. They're afraid of him. The world knew him as pure sunshine, always smiling, always happy. They never saw the side we all feared from time to time.

Jungkook lived up to his name. Our golden maknae made it on his own. With that voice, with those looks, he continued simply as JK. No collaborations, no HYBE. He made his own label and became his own boss. I heard he's managing other talents now, but it's still top secret. Even from me.

And Jimin...

I turned away from the mirror and tried to shut the memory of his face from my mind. But I couldn't. I could see him... Jimin with the golden hair, the pure smile that reached his eyes. I could see him flying in the air as he danced. I could feel his arms around me from the countless times he held me.

I could not stop the tears. I tried to hold on to something but there was nothing there. I felt myself sliding to my knees.