Moving Forward

7. Jimin

We must have held more than a hundred concerts already, but I will never get tired of this.

I stood at the front edge of the stage and looked at the thousands of lights held by ARMY as we sang Magic Shop. I felt like I was in the middle of a whole galaxy. The lights were swaying and they were singing with us.

I realised what Taehyung meant whenever he tried to look at each ARMY's eyes, to connect with a person and not just a fandom. I saw their happiness, sometimes through their tears. We brought joy to their lives even for just a few hours. I didn't know what they were each going through but  it was evident that we were doing something important here. It may look like we were just fooling around on stage, entertaining them with our songs and choreography, but it was much more than that. We had a real connection and were making a difference in each other's lives.

I looked at the other members scattered throughout the vast stage. Each one was interacting with ARMY in their own space. The stadium was full to the bleachers with fans who were showing us a lot of love.

How did we get this far? It wasn't that long ago when we didn't have much of an audience, when we were happy with any response to our tweets or even a few fan mails that we received occasionally. Now there were over 15 million members in Weverse and here, a universe of lights.

I watched our members take the stage with confidence, a far cry from how we were back then. And we all looked amazingly well, our best self - handsome, well-dressed, strong and filled with our own personal charm. ARMY too, everywhere I looked they were beautiful. I felt like a magical moment was descending on me. I covered my face with the palm of my hand and heard ARMY screaming my name.

A few seconds later I felt Taehyung hug me from behind, followed by Jungkook, then Hobi. They were all smiling at me. I think they understood very well what I was feeling.

When the song ended we gathered for our closing message to ARMY. We always prepared for this but tonight I felt like saying something I did not practice beforehand.

When my turn came I called out, "ARMY!" They cheered loudly in response. "I don't know if you'll understand what I mean, but I want to tell you that what we have here is truly special. I can't imagine what life would be like without you, and I know that you feel the same. I hope that we'll be together for a long, long time, and that we'll watch each other grow older while staying young forever. We will always be here for you."

I couldn't help it but my tears were starting to flow down. It was the last night of this concert and I just wanted to let them know that.

Then we prepared for our final song for the night. They had built a special stage for it. We had a lot of new songs but we all wanted to end with Mikrokosmos. In 2019 we filled the sky with 300 drones forming the globe and the BTS and ARMY logo for this number. Tonight, another globe would be rising, this time from the stage, with rings revolving around it. We would be singing while on the platform that formed those rings.

As we got on the platform one by one, Taehyung stayed close to me and asked, "Gwaenchana?" I nodded and put my arm around his waist. "Let's have a good dinner after this. You dieted too much."

I laughed at that. Yes, we try to lose weight before any major performance. And my numbers always felt easier when I was lighter. But Taehyung was right, food would make me feel better.

We were all on the platform now and were being elevated higher on the stage. We were almost level with the ARMY on the third section of the stadium. The globe also rose from the center and our platform began to move around it.

When the song began, I started crying again. I thought of my parents and my brother, of how proud I was of sharing this moment with them. They were in the audience, and by now they could see hundreds of lights floating around us. It was like we were in the sky filled with stars. I could see ARMY members crying at the sight. It was beautiful.

We were almost in the middle of the song when the platform hit a snag. We were jolted to a stop at first before it moved again. I looked for RM but he was on the other side of the globe. We just continued singing, as though nothing had gone wrong. No one in the audience seemed to have noticed. Their army-bombs were still raised and they were singing along with us. And this was not the first time that our set malfunctioned. There were many times in the past.

Taehyung was nearest to me and I drew closer to him because he was afraid of heights and the snag might have startled him. He looked at me nervously but he was smiling.

The second snag was stronger and ARMY noticed this time. We continued the song and hoped that we would be able to finish it with no major mishaps, but the platform began moving sideways. I looked at Taehyung again. Something was wrong.

The next seconds came very slowly. I saw Taehyung rushing to me. I felt him wrap his body around me as we began falling. I don't know if I said it out loud, but it was in my head, "Taetae, my dad, my mom, my dongsaeng." We both fell from a great height, in a shower of metal and electric sparks. The globe crumbled and fell through the stage, dragging us with it.

The last thing I heard was Jungkook's anguished scream, "Hyung! Hyung!"