Moving Forward

6. Jungkook

I walked with them down to the basement parking and stayed until each one had boarded their SUV. And I stood waving at them until the vehicles had all pulled out into the open driveway. We would see each other again now, every week as promised. We would not break this bond.

It was almost unbelievable when I received the call from Yoongi-hyung. He had called everyone, and asked to meet at my apartment. It was hard for me to believe when they began coming through the door one by one. I hugged each member and welcomed them in - back to my home, back to my life. Everything will be alright now.

Yoongi-hyung laid it out very clearly, and I had to agree that what we had done might have been right at that moment but it was not who we were. We just allowed the situation to overwhelm us, and we let those who were above us have the final say.

He asked us to make a decision: to keep on doing what we were doing now, or to retrace our steps until we came back to that day, the day that began the end for BTS.

Jin-hyung said that we would just talk, just that. We would talk like we did in the past. We would not hide anything, we would just say what was on our mind and figure out what to do from there. I'm not entirely sure what that would accomplish but right now anything was okay. Our life as a group was cut short. It was like someone had cut off my arms and legs and expected me to keep moving. I could and I did, but I was in a lot of pain.

What the members couldn't agree on was where. They didn't like my suggestion and felt we would be imposing and possibly hurting his family, but I refused to agree with anything else. If we were doing this, we should do it at Jimin's. He should still be a part of this somehow.

We agreed to try. Because it was my idea, I was assigned to ask his parents. That was fine. I'll take that first step. I'm not afraid of the consequences, but I was most worried about Taehyung - we all were. If you didn't know him, you wouldn't see that he was still very fragile and could break at any moment. If he survived this - if we all did - then I knew we would finally heal.

I reached my apartment door and unlocked it. Taehyung had stayed and was lying on the couch, staring at the sky outside as we'd left him.

"Want something to eat?" I shouted from the doorway. He didn't answer.

I went to the living room, pulled the ottoman and sat next to him.

"I don't think I can do it, " he said without breaking his gaze from the sky.

"Yes, you can. We'll be right there with you."

"Seriously, Jungkook."

He couldn't look at me. His dark brows were furrowed and beneath the worry on his face I could see the fear. I pulled him up to a sitting position and moved him to face me.

"Let's go."

"What?"

"To Jimin's. Now."

I pulled him by the hand, took my car keys from the kitchen table, and pushed him out the door. I don't believe in delaying anything that needs to be done. And this needed to be done.

Taehyung let me. He didn't struggle or run away. He trusted me. We drove in silence. I placed my phone on the rack, put it on speaker and dialed Jimin's number. Someone answered. It was Jimin's mom.

"Eomeoni, this is Jungkook. I'm with Taehyung. How are you? Can we come over?" She was taken aback. They had not heard from us in years. I apologised and said I would explain everything if they allowed us to come. There was a long silence at the end of the line, but she said yes.

"Thank you," I replied softly. I knew how much it must have taken for her to agree. For the first time I wondered if this had been such a good idea after all. Seeing us again would definitely hurt them, but it was too late to turn back now.

Taehyung looked at me and said, "You haven't changed. Where will this go, Jungkook-ah?"

"It will be okay, you'll see." We were at the outskirts of Seoul, where their family home was. They also kept an apartment in the city that Jimin used to stay in.

I pulled up a hill and appreciated the cobblestone walls that shielded the houses in this area. "Did you miss me?" I blurted out suddenly, smiling at him. He looked straight ahead and laughed, but I felt his hand ruffle my hair. Just like before.

We arrived at the gate to Jimin's and it opened on its own. I drove up to the elevated house and parked beside a tree. I stopped, finally feeling nervous.

Taehyung got out of the car and started heading for their front door. I had forgotten that he was older than me, and that he and Jimin were friends even before we became trainees. He was taking over from here. He just reached the oak door when it was opened by Jimin's dad, his mom close behind. Taehyung bowed to show respect, but they both gathered him in their arms. It had been a long time. Seeing me, Jimin's dad broke away and hugged me too. We went inside the spacious home and settled down in their living room.

Taehyung spoke calmly of what we came for and what we had decided as a group. He explained what we were going through and how we felt we could resolve it. He asked their permission, but also said that we would understand if they declined. All the while I was silent as he spoke. I could hardly look at them, suddenly feeling pressure behind my eyes. Taehyung was baring to Jimin's parents what the events had done to us, to him, asking for this chance to find an answer that might help each one.

Jimin's mom and dad looked at each other, searching for words. They could not give us an answer. Suddenly, she stood and took Taehyung by the hand, leading him to Jimin's room.

I stood up in panic. I suddenly regretted forcing Taehyung to come. He might not be ready for this. I looked at Jimin's dad, wishing he would stop them, but he put his arm around my  shoulder and led me to follow.

When we got to Jimin's room I saw his mom crying over her sleeping son, surrounded by tubes and monitors that had kept him alive for ten years. Taehyung was holding her as she broke down.