This is a love story between BTS and ARMY.
BTS has disbanded after an unexpected tragedy left everyone broken. Although each member has moved on, even ARMY, it remains hard to move forward without facing the past.
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This is a work of fiction wove...
I sat in the artist's lounge, waiting for my turn in the program. I was invited to a mini concert at the NamSan Tower, and there were other guest artists who had already performed. Although it was a bit cold, the view of Seoul from this height was breathtaking at night and well worth the small discomfort.
I couldn't stop watching the cctv footage as I waited for my number. That cold morning in Jimin's room, while I was sleeping beside him, he sat up and woke me, brushed my cheeks with his hand, and covered me with his blanket. Then he went back to sleep. It was the most natural thing, if not for the fact that he had been unconscious for more than ten years. I thought I was just dreaming at the time, or that maybe it was the absinthe.
I had forwarded the clip to the members and everyone took turns calling me and asking when they could come over. Jimin was taken to the hospital for tests and there was no word yet on when he could go home. I told them that we should give the Parks some privacy, and that we could wait a few more days.
My heart felt full, like it was about to burst. I couldn't stop smiling. When he saw me, Jimin's eyes seemed to be asking what was going on, why was he connected to all those tubes, and why were his parents crying. I smiled through my tears and told him to be patient, we would tell him everything. His movements and speech were slow, but I felt confident that he would be alright. Everything was going to be all right now.
My manager-hyung and my driver-hyung were with me. I felt like telling them the good news, but I had to wait for permission. These hyungs were like family to me. Their presence always made me feel safe and secure, they protected me from disrespectful fans and reporters, and were ready to shield me with their lives if needed - not because it was their job. I guess they've grown fond of me over the years.
Outside, the sky deck was all dressed up for the holidays. I was asked to sing Christmas Tree, from the series OST of one of my friends. This song first came out over ten years ago, before the accident, and was a favorite of ARMY. When the event staff called me, we stepped out of the lounge and I headed to the stage. Another idol was performing, and the audience was cheering him on warmly. All around us were trees lighted up for Christmas, but these were no match for the stars. The sky was clear on this December night.
When my turn came, I got up onstage and greeted the audience. It was a young crowd. As I sang, I began seeing army bombs lighting up one by one around me until the whole venue was filled with its light. I was surprised, is this ARMY? I thought I had lost them long ago. A warm feeling washed over me. Without intending to, I had engaged them again. They were drawing close and giving me much love.
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ARMY reacted with anger at the reporter who ambushed me in an interview a few days ago. The one and only post in my IG account that Jungkook had created received so many comments expressing concern that it was breaking records on IG. And now this. It was so moving that at the end of the song I paused for a long while and bowed. ARMY hadn't changed, they always knew how I felt and how to make me feel better.
After the song they gathered closer, and from the corner of my eye I saw my manager tense up. The platform I was standing on was quite low, and it would be very easy to come up to me from the crowd. I motioned for him to relax, let's give this a chance.
"Is that you ARMY, how are you?" I asked through the mic. They were crying, and asking me if I was okay. I said that I was and that there was nothing to be worried about. They had petitioned for the reporter to be fired or to resign. ARMY had always been protective of BTS.
I decided to be honest with them, to take this first step. "ARMY, you know everything about me, right? I have to admit that since ten years ago things have been very difficult for me, but I think I'm healing now. I'm sorry if I took you for granted those many years, I lost myself after what happened. I don't know if you'll understand what I mean. I'm really happy to see that you're still here despite all that." I put my hand over my heart to let them know that I really meant it. I hoped that they would give me a chance to make amends.
"I'm getting better," I assured them. "If I've caused you any hurt I hope you will forgive me, forgive us." They were really crying now and I decided to stop before I ruined the mood of the event. I apologized to the organizers for turning their holiday program into a fan-meet; it wasn't intended. Before I left I made a promise to be more active in IG so we could interact. I decided to take a selfie with ARMY holding their army bombs as my background, then I wished everyone a Merry Christmas and left the stage. Their cheers filled the air around us, their voices chanting my name as we made our way down the mountain.
Although it was very late I still wanted to go around when we got to our van. I was feeling overwhelmed by all the good things that were happening, Jimin waking up, ARMY returning. I was humbled by all the love and wanted to raise my eyes to the higher being who knew my pain and heard me. I could feel the heaviness that weighed down on my spirit finally lifting.
"Hyung, can we drive around first before going home?" He nodded in reply. And we drove around Seoul, taking in the passing sights of Christmas everywhere, of people walking with their friends and family, enjoying the season, chatting and laughing in the cafes and restaurants, exchanging stories, catching up. I hoped that Jimin and I could do that soon too.
My phone rang and it was the answered prayer. "Jimin-ie?" I said hello and asked him how he was doing. He asked where I was and when I was coming over.
