Moving Forward

26. Fix You

"Don't cry, Ami!" Jin shouted over his microphone. He couldn't see a dry eye in the audience. "We're really sorry. We let go of your hand. We were going through many things and we didn't know how to deal with it. It took us eleven years, but here we are."

The staff brought seats to the stage so they could sit down. They meant what was in the invite, they wanted to talk with ARMY, and it could take time. They had practiced what they were going to say, but sometimes it was better to just speak from the heart, and that could take a while. They also didn't want Jimin to get tired before his number.

ARMY were shouting their questions one by one.

"How are you, Jimin-ah?"

Jimin smiled at the question. "I'm okay now, thank you for thinking of me. We must have scared you so much. Don't worry anymore, I'm getting better each day."

"How did you wake up, Jimin?"

"How?" Jimin pondered the question. "It was Taetae who woke me up. He was crying and it was breaking my heart."

Taehyung turned to him and laughed. "Seriously? You're going to tell them that?"

"It's ARMY," Jimin answered. Turning to the fandom he whispered, "Don't tell anyone okay."

"Taehyung-ah!!!" ARMY was crying all over again.

Taehyung looked at Jimin again as if to say, look at what you've done. Jimin just giggled, being his usual cute self.

"Taetae, where did you get hurt?"

"Where?" These questions were becoming interesting. Taehyung stopped for a moment and decided to show ARMY. He removed his coat and started unbuttoning his shirt. ARMY screamed. The members laughed except for Jungkook who stared at him in disbelief. He bared his left shoulder and the cameraman was quick to capture his scars, both at the front and at his back, flashing the footage on the large screens behind them, before Jungkook came over to button his shirt again. ARMY went wild.

"Stob it you two," Jin interrupted and the screams turned to laughter.

"Does it hurt, Taehyung-ah?"

"Hmm..." Taehyung wondered what to say as he slid his arms back into his coat. "Sometimes."

"Don't get hurt anymore, Taehyung!"

"I won't. I'm  sorry I caused you to worry, ARMY." He was touched by their concern, and lowered his eyes before they could see.

"Did we hurt you, ARMY?" J-Hope asked them. Suddenly the purple ocean was quiet.

"Yes." It was a direct, unapologetic answer that came from the center.

"We are deeply sorry," Suga replied softly. He felt that his words meant nothing and would not be able to heal the wounds that had been neglected for such a long time.

"It was my fault, ARMY." RM owned up, facing their silence. "I ran away."

It will probably be known as one of the rare times, if not the only time in BTS and ARMY history, wherein their fandom was quiet.

"The members were so injured, and one ARMY died. I didn't handle it well. As the leader, I should have reached out to our members, but I couldn't and we ended up being isolated for many years. We dealt with the tragedy on our own." He spoke honestly, not hiding or making excuses for his errors.

"Can I introduce you to someone?" He cued the staff and a video presentation of Mary lighted the large screens behind them. He had asked Sara for Mary's pictures and they showed them onscreen. He knew that Sara would be watching online. Pictures of Mary in the sunlight, flowers in her hair, with friends watching their concert online, with family celebrating her birthday - even RM's birthday - and finally, pictures from the night of the Feb 12 concert as they got ready, near the stage, with the whole ARMY in the background. All these flashed on the large screens.

"Her name is Mary Stewart and, just like you, she's our precious ARMY." RM was trying his best to keep himself together. "She left us that night. She's gone forever."

All the members were silent with the grief that resurfaced, and with memories of the night when their lives changed forever.

"We won't be able to find the words that can express what we feel about Mary." Jin addressed them to give Namjoon time to compose himself. "But what we want to ask all ARMY here and everywhere is... never again. Let's all make sure that this never happens again."

"ARMY, each one of you is precious to us." J-Hope wished they would understand. "We know you love us. I hope you understand that we love you, too. We don't want any one of you to get hurt. We realized with Mary that, if you do, especially in one of our events, it will affect us badly. Another tragedy like that and we might not recover from it."

"ARMY," Suga spoke calmly. "We've taken this in stride in the past, but we can't do it anymore. We know you get excited to see us, and to get as close to us as possible, but if it means getting hurt or hurting those around you, can that just stop. Can we ask this of you, ARMY?"

"ARMY, I'm hoping there will come a time when all of us can meet on the street, in a park or coffee shop and not be worried that someone might get hurt." Taehyung shared his long-time dream.

"I want that too, ARMY." Jimin joined in. If they were to continue as a group, he wished that they would not need to always be surrounded by security when going out in public.

"ARMY, what happened that night... it was almost too much for me. Jimin-hyung and Taehyung-hyung, and ARMY too... never again, okay? Never again." Jungkook's face was red and his eyes were welling up. He didn't want that night to ever be repeated. Its memory still gave him nightmares, and he couldn't erase the sight of his brothers from his mind as they fell, or of ARMY screaming and lurching forward at them.

"There are things that we can't control, ARMY. But for those things that we can, let's do our best to take care of each other. Can we do that?" RM asked them. "We don't want any of you to get injured in any of our events. Even if something happens to us onstage, please promise to take care of yourselves and the people around you. Can you promise us that, ARMY?"

They were still silent.

"AMI! Can you promise?" Jin shouted in his high-pitched voice.

"YES!" The answer came suddenly, repeatedly, louder and louder, until it became a chant.

"Thank you, ARMY!" RM sighed with relief. "We'll make a promise, too. Whatever happens, we won't run away again. We'll hold your hand no matter what. If you'll have us, let's face life together."

Everywhere the purple lights turned to bright white, and their ARMY was too overwhelmed by their conversation to speak further. They were crying, but RM also hoped that they were healing.

The music started and they prepared to sing the cover of Coldplay's Fix You, which they sang long ago - a different time, but with the same intention to heal.

(Credits to elissa for the video above)