This is a love story between BTS and ARMY.
BTS has disbanded after an unexpected tragedy left everyone broken. Although each member has moved on, even ARMY, it remains hard to move forward without facing the past.
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This is a work of fiction wove...
I gathered all their lyrics for the new songs and spent sleepless nights at the studio with Namjoon and Hoseok, putting the music together. The rap was too intense and we talked of toning it down, but that wouldn't give justice to what we felt. I feel like we had opened floodgates and all the anger was pouring out. Maybe none of this could be used at all.
We made songs for the vocal line too. It felt like we were making an album, a comeback. This is not a muster, Namjoon, I wanted to tell him, be honest with yourself.
i know, i know we're good together but you can't just think of me i can't just think of you you and me, we're part of a bigger world so i'll let you shine there's a lot of things you can do i'm right here, won't be going away i'm back to stay even if you fly far i'll be here
i'm right here, won't be going away i've come back to stay i'll be here, go and shine
lost in a universe of lights you said goodbye you've gone forever all alone now who will hold my hand i kept my promise i try to find you every time but there's nothing but space how do i reach you how do i say i'm sorry
hate myself for losing you didn't know what to do tell me, are you still there
let go of your hand, i'm sorry couldn't hang on, just blame me it was too dark, couldn't find my way and here you are, reaching out
don't deserve you i don't deserve you
I tried the songs in the studio and I was running out of breath in some parts as I ad-libbed from my heart. It was like one of my earlier songs, The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, only more fierce. Those years we had separated ourselves from ARMY were the most difficult for me. I lost a part of me that I couldn't replace. I never shared it with anyone, and here it was coming out of the songs.
The rap line had made the initial recordings. When the vocal line becomes available we would start recording too. Jimin was undergoing therapy most days of the week and Taehyung was always busy, same as Jungkook. But I knew everything would come together. I could feel a shift in our destiny, like a movement of the stars, winter turning into spring.
Taehyung also wrote a song about Jimin. It made Hobi cry.
every night I watch you sleep waiting for a moment to catch you dreaming where do you go, take me with you let's travel that road together i hold your hand so you can pull me away to that place you now live in bring me there too, let's laugh again together if this is goodbye i won't let you go i'll come with you, you won't be alone you'll always have me, i'll always have you let's go together, let's meet in your dreams
It made me cry too. I haven't put music to it, waiting for the right notes for Taehyung's silken voice. I didn't think Jimin had seen it, or if he would understand what it meant to Taetae. I wanted to work on it with Bang Si Hyuk, maybe he could create the right melody for Taehyung. I'll be able to ask him tomorrow.
It was time to call it a night but I wanted to check on Jimin. I sent a message to see if he was awake.
MYG: Jimin-ah, you still up? PJM: Hello, hyung. How are you? MYG: I'm good.
I pressed video call and he answered. He was in bed.
"What are you doing in bed? Haven't you had enough sleep?"
"Hyung, it's 2 AM. Where are you?"
"I'm at the studio, finishing up. When can you come over? Let's record you next." Jin had made a melody for a duet with Jimin. He was still working on the lyrics but I had already seen the finished parts.
"Later this week, after we meet with Hobi-hyung."
"How are you doing, Jimin?" I really wanted to know if he was getting back to normal.
"I'm getting there, but I wish I could move faster. They say my muscles have forgotten how to function like they used to. That really bothers me, hyung."
"It's okay, be patient. Can you dance?"
"I'm trying to, it's frustrating. I keep falling."
He was shaking his head and looking away from the videocam. I felt he was about to cry. "Hey, you're already much better now than you were a month ago. Just keep at it."
"I want to dance again, hyung."
"Why don't we take baby steps first, Mochi. Let's sing first. Come over and we'll see if you can still hit the high notes."
"Oh, I can do that." And he began singing the chorus of Lie to me.
"Oh yeah, Park Jimin you can sing!" I smiled from ear to ear. He was back. He may not be able to dance yet but that would come. We had planned our muster for June 13, exactly 20 years after our debut. Jimin still had many months to prepare.
"Go back to sleep, Jimin-ie. I love you. I'll see you soon." I said goodbye and we hung up. I didn't know it was possible to be this happy. We were getting there, finally recovering, finally healing. We had stumbled and remained on the ground for a long time until we learned to pick each other up. I don't think we could have done it if we hadn't been together.
I closed the studio and walked to my car. The parking lot was bathed in the yellow light of the street lamps. Above, the sky was filled with stars. I remembered my drunken rant many months ago, and how far I've come since then. I whispered Thank You to the sky, got into my car and headed home. It was a new day, and there was much to do and many places to go.
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