Moving Forward

17. Namjoon

I took a very deep breath before entering the building that had been my former home ten years ago. After consulting with our family lawyer, I decided to accept HYBE's invitation to come over for a meeting. Hoseok was with me. He had been on indefinite leave and still wasn't decided on what he wanted to do.

We took the elevator to the CEO's floor, were greeted warmly by the staff, and were ushered to the conference room. Park Ji-won, HYBE CEO, soon followed, shook hands with us and asked how we were doing. He told us how HYBE was doing too, and how they would very much welcome us all if we were ready to resume as BTS. He showed us Taehyung's recent IG post at the NamSan Tower. It had generated millions of views and likes and had filtered to all social media platforms in a matter of minutes.

It was true, our ARMY was still out there and ready to welcome us back. But I had thought about this for a long time with the members. That was not the direction we wanted to take for now. We were just planning a fan meeting and were thinking about singing some of the songs that ARMY loved. HYBE owned BTS, all its songs, all its content, from the time we debuted until our contract ended. We could not perform those songs without HYBE's permission and, if ever it was given, only under their terms.

CEO Park suggested that BTS have a comeback. I shook my head at the thought of us dancing the choreography when we were almost in our 40's, the physical demands may already be beyond us at this point. I relayed to him that, although much of our lives were spent as BTS - and we cherished that life - it was agreed to by everyone that it was time to move on. We would look back once in a while, starting with our planned fan-meet with ARMY. He offered to help us with that, and asked if we wanted to start as another group. I replied that we hadn't thought that far yet, that we just wanted to be transparent with our plans to avoid any misunderstandings or problems later. He said he was grateful for our thoughtfulness and that HYBE's doors were always open for us, whatever we decided to do. Then he asked Hobi about his plans, and Hobi said that he was giving it much thought but had not made a decision. CEO Park replied that he understood how these things take time. We ended the meeting with the promise to keep in touch and to be supportive of each other.

"That went well," Hobi said as we made our way out of the building.

"Did it?" As far as being transparent, I guess it did. But much of the other things still had to be decided, like what we really wanted to do. I asked Hobi if he didn't want to go back to HYBE.

"Honestly, I hated being at HYBE when you guys weren't there anymore. Those years we had, I can't ever get over them. I'm thinking if I could just help Jungkook with his trainees." JK had trainees he was working with. Jungkook was giving himself challenges to overcome. Just like in the old days, that's how he grew and learned how to do well in everything.

"You're the richest among us, Hobi." I teased him. "You don't need to work unless you want to." Aside from being a member and lyricist, Hobi also had several collaborations and had released his own mixtapes. Hobi laughed as we pulled out of the parking lot and into the main road in his sports car.

"I feel nervous about all this," I shared. "In BTS my role as leader was mostly about being the spokesperson and herding you guys, but this time around it's a bigger responsibility. I don't know if I can handle this." All the parents might hold me accountable if something went wrong.

"I think we need expert advice," Hobi acknowledged.

The thought about expert advice stayed with me even after we parted ways for the day. I needed counsel on how to be a true leader of this talented and, admittedly - although unintentionally - globally influential group. It was different this time around. Before, it was actually the HYBE management that was leading BTS, we were just following the direction that was already set by the company. Now the enormous responsibility of being appointed our leader was being placed on my shoulders.