beautiful goodbye (slow update)

PROLOUGE

Taguig City Regional Trial Court.

Andito ako ngayon sa bulwagan ng katarungan. And this is the fourth trial of my case at kasama ko rito ang aking abogado. I wandered my eyes around. And there I saw my mother, she is the presiding Judge of my case. And in front of us are my two siblings. Prosecutor Alfred Aguirre and Syvenne Aguirre.

I suddenly felt a hard squeeze on my right hand. It was Cali.

"Don't be nervous, I'm here with you, hindi kita papabayaan." Her voice sound so calming, my worries are starting to chill down and my mind is now being rational. Her words are assuring me to trust her and to depend on her. But really, her words meant nothing to me. I move her hand and put back my attention to the prosecutor.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako andito sa ganitong sitwasyon. Para bang pinipilipit ang aking leeg at unti-unting nalalagutan ng hininga.

I know I am a bad person at some point. I know to myself that I'm naive, selfish and cruel. But this? Is this my karma? Ito na ba ang kabayaran sa lahat ng kasalanan na ginawa ko?

Maybe this is really the end of all, the end of my life. I should be a doctor helping civilians who needed my help, but look at me now. Andito ako at nililitis. I should be ashamed to myself. This is so disappointing. What I have done? Oh Lord please save me.

'The case of Denver Torres.' I read the file in front of me. "Denver."

I saw a lot of media are here today, covering the trial. Well, sino ba naman ang hindi maiintriga diba? Anak ng senador ang nililitis ngayon. Yeah, my father is a senator, a senator who couldn't save her own daughter.

Ni-hindi nga ako mairepresenta ng pamilya ko. They're all bunch of coward people. Fucking useless lawyers. Ang duduwag nila! Napaka bigat sa pakiramdam, bakit hindi nila ako maipag tanggol!

Tangina! kailan ba naman kasi ako naging parte ng pamilya na 'yan? I hate that Aguirre is my surname, I prefer my maiden name. But now? even my own mother can't look at me in my eyes. And it broke me apart. Hindi ko rin lubos na matanggap na siya pa talaga ang Judge sa kaso ko. Pinag kakaisahan nila ako.

I am busy arguing with myself that I didn't even noticed, na dumating na pala ang unang witness sa kaso. And it was my bestfriend Avionna. She took the oath first before she proceed in the witness stand.

"Nasaan ka sa mga oras na nangyari ang krimen?" tanong ng prosekyutor na lalaki. It's my older brother Alfred. Avionna took a deep breath first, this is the her way to calm herself. "I was with Juno in the time that the murder occured." She simply said. Prosecutor Alfred seemed not convinced in her alibi. "I repeat Ms. Sy, nasaan ka sa oras nang pagkamatay ni Mr. Torres." This time his voice were more intimidating. "At the Wyatt Hotel."

Yeah, we're at the hotel that time. It was Aeos farewell party and andoon kami upang mag saya, kaya aminado rin ako, na ako ay lango sa alak.

Prosecutor Alfred flash something on the projector. "This is the picture of Mr. Denver Torres entering the Wyatt Hotel at time of 1:32 AM in the night of November 24." Alfred fixes his eyeglasses before he puts his attention back at Aviona.

"What are your business at Wyatt Hotel, Ms. Sy?" what the hell is that kind of question? Masyadong personal.

"Objection your honor! the question is irrelevant!" Nagulat ako nang tumayo si Calypso. My mother look at her. And said, "Overrule." Calypso went back to her seat in defeat. Alfred repeat his question. I can see that he is now irritated na paulit-ulit nalang siya lagi. Alfred hates redundancy. "I am with my friends partying at Wyatt's exclusive midnight bar." She said with full honesty.