One Last Shot ✔️

***

Ilaria Logan

"Let me get a taste tonight yeah?!" Yelled Anthony across the hall which made me want to throw up. His friends were laughing and cheering on him as my back was facing them.

"Dick." I muttered under my breath, as I slammed my locker with a loud noise.

"She's feisty ain't she?" He asked again chuckling between as I walked into my next class.

I pushed the brown door open as I entered and went to my seat. I sat down before the door opened again and Lyla came to the view wearing her cheer outfit.

She came up and sat in front of me as she turned around and started to talk.

"Can I borrow your new dress? The one we bought the other day?" She asked with the fake smile as usual.

"I didn't even wear it yet." I said annoyed which made her roll her eyes.

"I'm not gonna eat it, I'll give it back" she said in a duh tone.

"Whatever" I said rolling my eyes. She's the kind off girl that that only use you for her selfish needs. I don't even know why we're friends.

Maybe cause you don't want to be alone.

The door opened again before the teacher entered and started to talk shit as no one was hearing him. We only come here because we get forced.

Some time after the class was over and by now I was heading home. To the place most people feel save. For me?

I don't feel anything in that place they call home. I don't even know what home feels like.

It's like I don't belong anywhere.

Or maybe I was just born the wrong time.

I started to knock loudly on the door, because I forgot my keys in my other jacket this morning.

"Open the fucking door!" I yelled slamming my fits on the door. Soon the door opened and a shirtless man stood there in his late 30s looking disgusting.

He had a fat stomach, his hair was all over the place as the alcohol was flooding as if it was air.

I'm not even surprised, she was never a true parent anyway.

"The daughter looks way hotter." He said a disgusting smile on his face.

"Get the fuck out of my house" I said entering the house as I throw my shoes away. I felt his hand on my lower back which made me immediately turn around as I grabbed the knife that was on the counter.

"Fucking dare and touch me again!" I yelled across his face as I was pointing the knife at him which made him back off.

"Chill stupid girl-" he started trying to take the knife away.

"Get the fuck out! NOW!" I yelled which made him walk out as I slammed the door close and locked it. I walked to the garden door to make sure it's also locked and so with the windows.

I headed upstairs towards my room and didn't bother to check on her.

She can go fuck herself.

I walked into my room ignoring all the beer bottles on the floor as her clothes were also all the way in the hallway.

I closed the door to my room as I went to take a shower in my white bathroom. As I finished I walked to my closet and took the sluties dress I had.

It was a black dress. My waist were not covered and my boobs were barely covered as well. The dress covered my butt, but if I bent down you'll be able to see everything.

And no I do not care, they can all suck my dick.

I placed some makeup on, before I wore some sneakers and walked out the room downstairs to see her in the kitchen with only her robe covering her naked body.

Her blonde hair was all over her face as her legs had marks and so did her neck. I rolled my eyes at the disgusting view as I started to walk past her.

"Where are you going dressed like that?" She asked making me turn around.

"Why do you fucking care anyways?" I asked trying not to walk and rip her head off.

"I'm your mother talk with respect!" She yelled hitting her palms down on the counter which made me start and chuckle.

"Oh please...my mother? Pathetic" I said before I walk out leaving her yell to herself. I got into my Jeep as I drove of anywhere away from this place.

I stopped in a random parking lot as I throw my head back and closed my eyes.

My mother?

Pathetic....

She wasn't my fucking mother when I got raped by her husband. My fucking dad. The one I thought will treat me as the most precious person in this world.

The one that I thought will make me feel save with him, that I have a back and not worry about anything because I have a 'dad'.

He was the fucking reason I became who I am. Became someone I hate. Hate everything about herself.

Her eyes, her hair, her hands, her legs, her stomach, her butt. Every fucking thing. I hate everything about her.

I killed my old self to become someone worse. Someone who only hate, have lost hope, have lost everything.

And with no hope you can't fucking keep going cause there is nothing worth fighting anymore.

Am I gonna fail school? Yes? Hell I do not care.

Am I gonna loose myself? Yes I will but I don't care.

Am I gonna be worthless? It's not like precious now.

But one thing I know I'm not gonna be like, my fucking own mother. The one that is fucking selfish, always put her needs first, her sex life first, not her children.

She was the reason her unborn child died, the reason her eldest son left her and me.

My brother that I thought will have my back after what happened to me. The one I thought will take me up on my legs again.

But he was like all of them. A disappointment.

I started shaking my legs as I took the lighter from the airbag out and went in the backseat. I pulled the dress up as I turned the lighter on and took it to my inner thighs.

The feeling makes me feel alive. That's probably the only reason I'm doing that.

Just to check if I'm still alive and can feel something. Anything.

It's like no you're screaming and no one can hear you. That's how it feels. And it's the only feeling I like, it just makes me exited to die and get done with this torture we call a damn life.