One Last Shot ✔️

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(I didn't reread, sorry grammar mistakes)

Ilaria

I was laying on my bed. I didn't go to school today since I was feeling numb again. The woman called mother is nowhere to be seen and I'm not surprised.

At least I have the house for myself.

It have been 2 days since the stupid party. I have been trying to avoid Ryder, so I wasn't going to school the last two days as well.

I just don't want him near me anymore. And I know I've said it before but I can't let it happen again. He is unstable- not like I'm better.

And besides I hate him. I hate his eyes that looks at me. I hate his warm lips that always taste like alcohol. I hate how good he smell. I hate his touch. I hate how he makes me feel.

I fucking hate him.

So we aren't gonna do it anymore, and to be honest he looks like he's fine with it, since he haven't even tried to put an effort in seeing or calling me.

And am I disappointed? No.

No one cares for me. That's the reality and I had to learn it the hard way. I mean my own brother left me so yes I am a worthless piece of shit to everyone.

A slam from downstairs came before I started to hear someone walking up the stairs. Only by the sound of the footsteps I knew it was my mother.

My door slammed opened making her come to the view.

"Get ready we are having guests" she said making me chuckle.

"Guests? Seriously. Since when do we have guests?" I asked not bothering to look at her and how disgusting she is.

"Since today. Please wear something nice" she said making me look at her and see her in a short dress that was almost showing her ass.

I rolled my eyes as I turned my back to the other side and placed the duvet over my head. I heard the door closes again which made me remove the duvet and stand up before I went to the mirror and looked at myself.

I looked like shit. Nothing new. My hair was in a messy bun as I only had a shirt on. I had nothing underneath.

I hate looking at myself. I always try and avoid mirrors because I can't handle looking at myself.

If someone asked me 'do you want to die?' Without hesitation I would say yes. I'm not suicidal as I said before. I would have been if I wasn't a coward and afraid of doing it.

My phone started to buzz making me walk to the bed and see Four calling. I picked up as I heard his voice.

"I'm almost in front of your house get down I have ice cream"

"I don't know Four..."

"I wasn't really asking now get down you're gonna kill yourself in this depression you have"

"Whatever" I mumbled before I hang on as I placed some underwear. I heard a car pull over knowing it probably Four so I went down and opened the door to see him walking towards me.

"Wow...you look like shit" he joked making me give him a fake ha ha ha.

"I brought your favorite. Vanilla and salted Carmel!" He yelled exited making me talk.

"Let's sit in the backyard" I said mentioning for him to come in. He walked back as I grabbed 2 spoons and followed him.

He sat down on the edge of the pool as he took his shoes off and placed his feet's into the water making me do the same as I grabbed the salted caramel pack and digged my spoon in.