Rosa: A Wangxian Reincarnation Story

Rosa 19:When The Impossible Occurs

Qinyang's eyes started to open but they felt heavy and she was aware of her equally heavy heart at the same time. She squeezed them shut against consciousness and fought to damp down the depression creeping over her before she was even fully awake. She bit her bottom lip and sighed soundlessly because even uttering a sound seemed to take too much effort. This ennui was an old friend from long ago. Why revisit her when every ounce of her strength was needed right now? Halo did not need a weakling as a Guardian. She felt a flush of shame at her curtness last night and the puzzlement she had seen on Halo's face. She must rise, dress, and apologize. She sat up and became still as she saw Halo, eyes closed, on a makeshift pallet by the bed.

Before she had a chance to process anything, the copper eyes opened and the young woman sat up.

"Halo? Are you alright? Are you sick? Why didn't you wake me?" Qinyang inquired anxiously.

"I am fine. Go back to sleep. You need rest."

"I have rested enough.."

"No, you have not. You were restless. That is no way to get a good night's sleep, Qinyang. Lay back...Good...Close your eyes and I will wake you in two hours. Then we will talk." Then Yenay closed the door softly behind her.

Qinyang's eye flew open in a panic. Talk? Did Halo want to talk? And it seemed like she wanted control of the talking. There was no way in hell Qinyang could go back asleep right now. She jumped from the bed and scurried to the closet, pulling a pale pink tunic around her and tying it tightly about the waist. Then she ran to the bathroom, scrubbed her face, brushed her teeth, and combed her hair. She rushed headlong into the suite. Halo stood as the steam rose from the tea kettle and the aroma of bagels browning in the oven assailed her nose.

Halo turned around and stared at her in amused disapproval.

"You are never one to wait for a discussion. Always need to get it over with. Well, sit. The bagels are almost ready. And the only rule about this talk is not to address me as Halo. That must stop today. I want you to call me Yenay."

She sat wordlessly.

"We have the place to ourselves. I texted everyone and told them to stay away."

"Why, Ha...Yenay?"

"Because we must talk and a group of third wheels would get in our way."

"Oh."

Yenay motioned to one of the large cushions and after Qinyang seated herself, Yenay took the one opposite her.

"Yenay, I am so sorry I acted the way that I did last night. I was somewhat over-emotional and I did not watch what I was saying to you."

"That is one of your problems in this life Qinyang. You do not speak your mind like you used to."

"I don't feel like I have the right to. It has been a problem before..." She paused as something began to form slowly in her mind..."

"You spoke out once and drew too much pain upon yourself as a result."

Qinyang's amber eyes widened. "What?"

"Then you spoke out, claiming your right to witness for Lan Zhan. Both times, you spoke when you felt you had to and damned the consequences, did you not? How could you not be honest last night when you should have?"

"I couldn't, I would have hurt you. I never want to hurt you."

"So you swallow your pain and do not share it." She saw the next question on Qinyang's lips before she spoke.

"How, when...?"

"After everyone went to bed, Lan Zhan and I played Go. I turned on him and demanded he share our past with me."

Qinyang leaped to her feet; eyes wide with horror. "No, no, he didn't; he couldn't!"

"I found I can be rather formidable went the person I love is in that kind of pain. If he had not told me, I might have held Bichen to his throat until he did."

"How much did he tell you?" She had backed herself into a corner and stood helplessly, feeling bushwacked and unarmed.

"From the night we were forced apart until we reunited. All of it. Memories washed over me like cold rain, and I understood what has been driving you since the first time we met in this lifetime. Why you need to rescue me..."

'She walked up to the trembling woman. Stood so she could not escape. Qinyang buried her face in her hands and Yenay heard the soft sound of weeping.

"Why I always felt cherished by you." She moved another step closer. "Why I knew I was finally safe. When I knew what I was created for..."She took Qinyang's hands at the wrists, pulled them away with one hand, and lifted her chin with the other. The spark between amber and copper was so hot, so incendiary that Qin could not bear it and closed her eyes against the heat of it all. Yenay placed a soft kiss on one lid.

"My Sun."

A kiss on the other lid.

"My Conqueror."

A kiss on the small nose.

"My Soldier's Woman."

And just before she captured those helpless and hungry lips, "My Wife."

Soft arms, without a will of their own, circled Yenay's neck, and she held on as her head spun in ecstasy. Yenay gripped her waist so she would not fall, claiming her right to this woman, over and over again. They became breathless and weak at the knees, falling where they stood. Qinyang finally broke and drew back a moment.

You are sure? You want to pursue this all the way?'

"Yes."

"I want each step we take to be certain. You will speak out if something, anything feels wrong? Feels hurtful in any way. I will not be happy if I find out later that anything reminded you..."

"Never. Not with you. I will be honest. But I fear nothing when I am in your arms."

"Well, I fear the sharp ears in this dwelling." Qin freed her hand and delicately wove the pattern of the quiet spell over the room. "That ought to keep things a little more private. "

Yenay looked at her and smiled. "I am sure there are a few things I may have to relearn. Do you remember the day you helped me read in the library? The smell of sandalwood and paper? The golden light that filtered down the windows you later force Wei Ying to wash? The gentle touch of your finger pressing mine and guiding it down the page?"

"Uhm hum?"

"You may need to do that now."

"Like this?... And this... and, oh yes...like this. You are such a quick pupil, My Soldier."

"The pupil is only as good as the Master."

She grew more serious. "I cannot promise I will not backslide. I cannot promise that fear will disappear entirely. But if you accept me as flawed and weak at times, we will, I will, do this with your help. Is that enough?"

It is more than I ever dream of."