The Corruption Of Our Souls

XI

I rub my eyes in disbelief, this must be a dream, I mean I've been hallucinating lately and I'm probably still high. I rub my eyes harder wishing for him to go away but he doesn't. He just stands there. The truck is different, where has he been? He walks closer and i get a glimpse of a gash across his eye, no. Did I do this from the night of the attack? The light was so dim; I didn't even see his face. Not only did he not leave me, but I never left him, there must have been the constant memory of the attack over and over every morning as he looked in the mirror, torturing him. Good.

But i can't say that, I've dreamed this moment over and over in my head but never did it pan out like this. As he gets closer to me, he turns heading for the main entrance. I was completely persuaded he was going to walk over to me. But why would he after what happened, what on earth could he say to me now?

The bell rings and the chorus of students slowly disperse into lessons. Oh great, double chemistry, just what i need.

I walk into the class and see Nate positioned where he used to sit, the first day he came in when everyone's eyes were magnetised to him. I sit down and look back to where he is sat and he looks away aware of the fact I caught him looking at me, is he embarrassed? Kirsten pipes up to me 'Savvy, I don't want to offend you because i know this is a touchy subject but what even happened between you two?' she asks hungry for new gossip.

'Look, I told you already, i don't want to talk about it' I snap as i try to listen to the lecture.

'But why, i mean he's definitely eye candy' she suggestively replies. I stare back at her in disbelief; her face turns from hungry to plain cold. 'Savannah Hyde, are you high?'

I turn to face away in shock and loudly stand up and storm out the room trying to make an impression so Kristen is the one to blame. I walk round the corner and slide up against the wall inhaling deeply as a tear runs its usual path down my cheek. Why did i think that school would 'take my mind off things'? all it does is brings back everything. I stand there for what feels like ten minutes breathing in the drowning air of school, trying to control my breathing and stop the tears from staining my face.

Suddenly, someone grabs my hand and I am immediately pulled out the corner and out the door, i realise its Nate, I want to tell him to let me go but im too overwhelmed by the fact he's holding me. In his hand. IN HIS HAND. This is not the time for another giggle fit. He leads me outside to the picnic bench, I get a glimpse of his face to see it cold, with fury? We sit opposite each other at a picnic table and he settles in front of me. Oh how i missed his face, his deep grey eyes, delicate lip piercing, and please don't get me started on his jaw line, you could slice cheese in half with that thing.

He gazes into my eyes; speechless and just like Kirsten's, his expression is instantly wiped form his face. 'Are you fucking high?' He grits at me, rubbing his head in his hands.

'Jesus fucking Christ' He laughs sarcastically before standing up, leaving me hurt and lonely.

I turn away from him to hide the build up of emotion, teasing to spill out of my eyes.

He sits back down, clearly distressed and fumbles with his fingers.

 Tears begin to fall in the same way as always, slowly then all at once.

'Please don't cry' he whispers trying to restrain his voice.

I wipe up the tear form my cheeks and look down at my ever knotting fingers. It's clear he caught on to what I'm talking about, and looks guilty all over his body, form his poor posture to his sunken head.

'There was a reason I', i cut him off instantly.

'Don't.' I whisper 'no explanation will ever cure the pain i feel, it won't undo the mistake you made, and it sure as hell won't make me forgive you. So just don't' My voice is barely audible as im too busy holding back the river.