I Could Neva (JGE RETRO)

Chapter 33...Just The Way You Are

Sasha's P.O.V

I was on my Instagram page a while ago and a few fans were saying that I was fat and didn't deserve Shawn. I really don't deserve him. He's worth so much more.

I'm standing in front of the mirror disgusted. I've gained so much weight over the past week and they're right. The tattoo on my stomach has expanded and it looks really bad. Should've never gotten all of these stupid things. I turned around and looked at my butt. Its so bad, I have stretch marks. What am I going to tell Tab, he doesn't wanna see me like this. He's gone right now taking SJ home. Its funny how he's here all the time but hasn't moved in. Anyways way off topic, I need to figure out a way to get rid of this extra weight. I grabbed my laptop and went to Instagram looking for inspiration. I came across this anorexia page. It says that if you want to lose weight fast, you should eat 1 cup of cereal with no milk each morning and gradually decrease to nothing. I looked over the page a Lil bit. It was a chat started about how to keep the movement going and others to help you through it. Of course I had to join. I chatted with the other group members before I heard the front door open. I hurried and closed the laptop and hid it behind a pillow before he could see what I was looking at. "Bae" Tab yelled walking up the stairs. "Yes?" I asked as he walked in the room. "We gotta talk" he said. Gosh I hope he doesn't break up with me. Has he realized that I put on a couple pounds? Is he mad that I'm fat. "O-kk" I said stuttering. He looked down at my half naked body licking his lips. I sat on the bed and surrounded myself in the covers. "I love u and iont want u ta think otherwise aight?" He said. "Sure"I said not even paying him any attention. Its kind of embarrassing looking him in the eyes now. "Anyway lets go eat out, I wanna take u to dis famous, popular ass restaurant, go put on sumn nice" he said and tried to take the covers off of me. "STOP" I screamed at him. He looked surprised. "I'm just umm cold, yes cold, its really chilly and I'm not wearing anything, could u turn the heat on?" I asked him. He walked out of the room and I ran into the closet grabbing the dress before running into the bathroom. "Damn jack jack" he said laughing at how fast I was running. When I got in I turned on the shower and waited for it to warm up. I stood in front of the mirror staring at my body. I look like a whale. Fat and ugly. The water eventually warmed up so I hopped in the shower and washed up. When I was done I put on my underwear and bra and got an idea. I bended down to the toilet and put my hand in my mouth trying to make myself throw up. After a few tries it worked. As long as I could do this, I can eat anything I want!

Tab's P.O.V

Iont know wat da hell up wit Sasha. She actin weird as hell. First she screamed at me fo trynna take da cover off her now she runnin like a damn track star to da bathroom. I gotta get ready for dis date. I'm takin her to Giovanni's On The Hill. Place high den a mfcka but you know I got dat money from Tré. I walked to my bag and got out my suit. It was a white collared shirt, wit a black blazer, and da pants had a dope print on em. Dey was black and white. I gotta look fly, You was already hipp tho! I grabbed my drawls and my black box i had sittin inna bag for a couple of months or so. I went to da guestroom to get inna showa. After I was done I put on my suit and went back to Sasha room. All of a sudden I hear a mfckn Beep. I started lookin around and still can't find where it came from. I walked around until I heard it again. Its comin from da bed. I walked ova to it and looked under da pillow seein Sasha laptop. As soon as I picked it up da bathroom door opened. "Hey babe, what are u doing?" Sasha asked as I jumped put her laptop back down. "Dat mfcka beeped I was just seein wat was happenin and u scared da shit outta me girl" I said back. "Did u look at my stuff?" She asked. "Nah, its cool" I said. I think she up to sumn. She laid da dress onna bed and had a towel wrapped around her. "Could u leave until I get dressed?" She asked."why, I seen u naked befo" I said. "Please, I just don't wanttttt u to ummmm see what I have planned for u, yes that, its a surprise" she said and pushed me out da door shuttin it. Wat da hell wrong wit her. She prolly on her period or sumn. I walked downstairs and waited by da front door until like 30 minutes later I heard heels clickin onna stairs. I looked up and smiled. She looked so beautiful. And dat dress hugged every single curve perfectly. She got down to me and stood there. "Wat u scared of iont bite" I said laughin. "U look beautiful" I told her seein her smile. "Thank u, and u look handsome, did u secretly get someone to come over and help u?" She asked jokin. "Nah , I had to do dis myself, its a real special occasion."I replied. "Let's go doee" I said and grabbed her hand walkin to da car. I opened her door and let her get in then I went to my side and got in drivin to da place. I reached in my tux pocket seein if I had da black box. I can't lose dis mfcka. Cost wayyyyy too much. When we got to da restaurant I let da valet park my car. "This is so nice, thank u baby" Sasha said kissin me. Its always nice ta make sure yo girl good and feelin like a queen. We walked inna buildin and a lady met us at da reservation booth. "Reservation sir?" Da lady asked. "Umm yes under Shawn" I said. "Right this way sir" she replied and took us to our table. Before we sat down I pulled out Sasha chair for her and sat down. "How u like it?" I asked. "Awwwn you're so sweet, thank u" she said smilin. A Lil later a waiter came ova to get our orders. "Babe, wat u wanna order?" I asked Sasha before he made it to da table. "Umm I'm not really hungry but I'll take a chicken alfredo" she said. "Coo". Da waiter made it to da table and I gave him our orders. It was tight in here. Fancy music and nice people. Iain wit all dat Bach and Beethoven shit but itta work fo tonight. Sasha's P.O.V

Its really sweet of him to bring me to this fancy restaurant but I'm just not in the mood. After about 5 minutes the food arrived and Tab dug in. I got so sick watching him because I couldn't eat that much. I sat there picking at my food only eating about a fourth of it. Time to try this throwing up thing. "Umm I have to use the restroom babe" I said to Tab getting up. "Ok love u" he said as I walked away. I rushed into the stall and just let everything loose. Everything I had eaten today washed into the toilet bowl. Eww I hate that nasty taste. Once I was satisfied with what I've thrown out I cleaned myself up and did my makeup again before walking out. "It took u long enough, was u throwin up yo food?" Tab asked laughing. " Omg nooo" I said laughing as well nervously. "Anyway I got u a Lil something" he said reaching in his pocket. "Sasha, I wanna spend da rest of my life wit u, have kids,........ inna future" he said laughin. "I wanna wake up to u err mornin and just know dat u ok and still love me. Nothing u could ever do will make me stop lovin u. From da fights to da struggles err and anythang we can overcome it. I love u flaws and all. Just the way u are" he added. Everyone in the restaurant started watching us and I was tearing up. Omg I think he's proposing. "I just wanna ask u one question" he said and got out a black box getting down on one knee. "Will u promise me dat you'll stick wit me til we ready to get married and have kids wimme inna future? Promise that you'll still love me through all the fights we might have later on?" he asked. "I love u girl and I don't want nobody but u, kissin on my tattoos" he said as a Lil joke. He knows that its my fave song my August Alsina. "I promise" I said as he slipped the ring on mg finger making everyone cheer. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I didn't expect this promise ring but its still special. We're too young to get married right now anyway. "I love u" I said and kissed him. I think its time to tell him about the weight issue but I'll wait until we leave. I don't wanna start off this good new chapter in our lives with lies and secrets. An hour later Tab and I were on our way back to my place. When we arrived I figured it best to tell him. We walked up to my room and it was time. "Babe" I said. "Wssp shawty" he said. "When I went to the bathroom at the restaurant I didn't actually use the bathroom, I was throwing up my food" I said to him. "Wat u mean?" He asked. "I was on Instagram earlier and a few people were commenting that I was fat and looked like a cow, etc. And didn't deserve u, Tab they're right, you're so much better than me and need someone who is on your level. Maybe a girl with big boobs, a nice ass, and a flat stomach but I have neither of those" I said to him. "Sasha stop, u don't understand dat them girls Jes hatin on u. U perfect in my eyes. And Fat!?" He asked surprised. "Never, you're thick, its a difference. You just don't realize how beautiful u are to me. Its like when I see u nobody else exists."he said and pulled me up to him. "Sasha dat ain't healthy, I can't lose nobody else. Just stop for me, remember u made a promise, I'm hopin to keep u around for a whole" he said referring to the event that took place at the restaurant. "I'm sorry. I didn't really do it a lot just two times" I told him and started crying. "its aight, just come here" he said and lifted me up into his arms. I wouldn't rather be anywhere else but right here. "Come on, let's let deez hoes know who runnin it" he said and grabbed the laptop. "What's this?" He asked. "Oh yes I forgot to mention the anorexia site, sorry" I said. "Stop dis shit and I mean it, any time u havin thoughts about dis or anything else just talk to me, why are u so scared of showin me da real u?" he asked. "Insecurities i guess" i replied makin him laugh. "U have nothin to be insecure about baby, just stop trynna hide." He said and got off of the site and went to Instagram

Tab's P.O.V

All dis shit she just told me was dumb as fuck! She ont know how sexy and beautiful an just gorgeous she is. Its up ta me to tell her. I'm gettin on Insta right damn now to set errbody straight. Ain't nobody finna sit here and bully her. Yes I said bully. I mean of course she ain't gon sit her and let a mfcka bully her but I gotta let her know wat it do. I went to my page and posted a pic of just a random black thing. I captioned it :" its neva ok ta bully. All deez girls on here sendin threats to my girl and sayin she ugly and fat on her page ain't coo. Now dat don't mean dat da good ones gotta argue wit all da haters. We got dis under control, just watch wat u say cuz it can make a big impact on other people. I love dis girl wit all my heart and if y'all don't like it iont know wat to tell ya. Keep negativity off her and my page but I love y'all and if any of yall gettin bullied or sumn just tag me on a pic and tell me yall story. Me and Sasha will be doin a contest. A random winner will be selected to hang out wit us fo a day. We wanna read all yall shit and give yall sum advice. #JGESQUAD #IGNOREDAHATE #DAREALONESKNOW #FUCDANEGATIVITY #LIFELESSONFOYOASS". U already know a few niggas had some shit to say but iont care, one thing iont play about is family, Sasha like family to me. My other half. I'm gettin a Lil soft and shit but nah mean dat shit just wrong. From now on we gon talk about dis type of stuff.No mo secrets, jes how I like it!