Anidita - My Soulmate I trust

Chandrachur last words, Anidita children

Bondita POV:

I hardly gathered courage and started with Patibabu to ashram in car. Even though I don't want to recollect it, my past is haunting me.

Chandrachur parents are favoured by my Thakuma Kalindi Das in our childhood and helped them to recover financial losses in his father's business.

They used to frequently visit our..no..no...not our it's Thakuma  haveli in Krishnanagar and I vaguely remembered their talks.. His mother is impressed with my Thakuma strict behaviour towards our Das sisters and used to pamper me and Tupur.

Rimjhim kaki used to take special care for Chandrachur and always emphasize and highlight her own daughter's qualities infront of them, that she is strictly disciplined and exaggerated that Tupur Know how to cook well, how to do household works more efficiently than me. In childhood I didn't understand this partiality but now when I recollect it I pity on my kaki thoughts.

We soon reached Ashram and Patibabu held my hand and took inside. In the front hall, Dinesh is speaking with few pandits to take care and ensure that everything is done as per ritual and a special mat spread with white cloth is arranged in verendah for Chandrachur.

There are different religious persons stay here in ashram including old people and people who are diseased and about to leave the world for whom treatment is not available in medical field. Such persons are cheered up here, make them live as per their wish in last days wholeheartedly. Whoever are going to leave the world my patibabu instructed staff here to do the final rites as per the religious customs, the staff will inform their family members if they are still in contact with the ashram residents.

We went inside and saw 60 years chandrachur in a Desparate condition struggling on ventilator . He saw us and with much difficult he is trying to raise but his both hands and legs are paralyzed.

I turned into stone hearted person before I come here with no emotions and diverting my mind on my children, their mischiefs and our family time

With vague voice he is trying to apologise me

Mu...jh....e.....ma...a.f..ka..r...do..Bo..n..di..ta.. no reaction in my heart and on my face. I looked blankly at him. Patibabu also stood like a statue but he didn't leave my hand.

He still continued ...A..PNA...ba...cha..sa..majh..kar .maaf..ka..ro...mu...mu...jhe.. ma..maaf...ka..ro....na...maa...ma..af..Karo...Karo...maa....maa...

and he started sobbing tears.

We both are astonished to listen maa from his mouth,  he is calling me maa.. continuously for 3 times. A pure word maa from an impure hearted person's mouth.

Unknowingly my eyes started forming tears. That animal who is worst than a creature ..a perverted fellow in this last stage of his life  calling me maa.

The eyes which only have lust on me since my childhood, which used to watch at my growing body hungrily is now shedding tears like a child.

With much difficulty he again called me maa and looked at me with hope that I will forgive him. I looked at Patibabu and he also hardly holding tears and nodded at me to consider his apology so that he can leave the world peacefully. I hardly nodded as ok.

Infact forgiving him is the most disgusting thing to me but still he got punished for his deeds for more than 25 years. He is sent to jail by my patibabu for  nearly 14 years for his heinous crimes, later  he got paralysis attack suffering from many years and now he is leaving the world as an orphan. Karma hit him hard.

When I nodded my head  a little lifeless but a bit satisfactory smile formed on his (Chandrachur) lips ,in the next second he left his last breath. He is now no more.

I gulped the tears and sat at Frontyard chairs without any thought waiting for my patibabu to come back, he is instructing the staff and pandits to do all the rituals , he went inside and made some phone calls , came back and we left to home after 2 hours.

  If Chandrachur have maintained the dignity and respect in relationships his final rites would have been either done in his house or in our house with full respect . May be he may have his own children to carry his corpse to burial ground. He himself didn't maintain any relationship with respect.

We didn't talk much while going back to home. When we returned I silently went inside took bath to get rid of haunting past and came back.

To my surprise, all my children came there and started their hustle bustle hilarious jokes on each other and changed the boring atmosphere into a commotion. By seeing them only I got smile on my lips and completely forgotten the sadness and gloominess in me. Now I understood that Patibabu called my children in ashram only and they are here by their father's one command.

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Today I will introduce my children to you.

We have three daughters - Poornima (Chartered Accountant), Shorbari (lecturer) and Vidya (Barrister) , they got married to Preetam (Auditor), Susheel (Chief editor of Bangal khabar newspaper which is running by my patibabu ) and Deepak (Barrister). Whether they stay nearby or far to us as per their job requirements but they visit us frequently. Poornima and Shorbari have children, our grandchildren - Amor, Payal and Nitya.

We also have three sons - Arvind, Cardiologist ( my father name which Patibabu admiringly named him as he accepted us as his parents on my baba birthday), Nitish (Barrister and a writer) and Saketh - a perfect business man like my sasurji but unlike his grand father my Saketh is good at heart he only shows boss attitude in office (Nitish and Saketh are twins , born with their sister Vidya to me both resembles my Patibabu by their looks, personality, one can easily say that these Both are his photo copies.) Only Arvind got married and his wife Snigdha is a gynaecologist who has done hysterectomy surgery to me. 

We had a great evening in their company and our girls have cooked food assisted by our boys (including our son in laws who are no less than our sons). We enjoyed dinner with them and later our daughters and son in laws left to their houses back.

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20 days passed away.

One day morning Nitish is searching something in our study room. I saw him there but I went into kitchen. When I came back with coffee for my patibabu he is asking about my past to his father.

Then I had seen a past related case files in his hand and I understood everything that those files are related to my past. 

Patibabu is rejecting him and insisting not to ask about it keeping my health in view, but Nitish is not leaving. This boy! If he wants to know any information he won't leave it until he gets what he want.

Ofcourse we only taught him as a part of his course Barrister course but now he is using on us only.

I took a deep breath and   told to myself - Bondita, Patibabu already empowered you many years ago, that you are not weak and impure, no need to be guilty. So why should you hesitate to share it with your children. They are your and Patibabu shadows. So no secrets from them.

I came to Nitish and told him that Today your maa will tell everything to you. If you want you can call your siblings also here..

Patibabu is shooking his head as no but I said it's ok let them know. Meanwhile Nitish called all his siblings and they all came to us in 1 hour. Seems like they all are curious to know about us which we didn't reveal much to them previously. They gathered around me and patibabu to know about our story.

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