'2017 | Queen/BoRhap cast fanfic; time travel (complete)

29.| I used to hear a simple song, that was until you came along

     "No," he muttered. "No, no, no..." Roger kept saying under his breath, pulling the rest of his body away from Y/N. He shifted his gaze from her face to the book he was reading before and licked his bottom lip. "I can't keep doing this, Y/N. This is, I think, the third, maybe fourth time you've kissed me and I still don't know what you want," he says under his breath, looking at her. "It's easy for you to kiss me when you know how I feel about you," Roger adds, almost hesitantly.

     Y/N didn't interrupt him, but he paused when she brushed her thumb over the smudge lipstick. The sentences he was trying to form were momentarily erased from his mind as he watched her.

     Roger licked his bottom lip again and swallowed hard, "You never say 'No, Roger' but you also never say 'Yes, Roger'. And of course I'm going to kiss you back because, well," he gestured towards her, "it's you! Have you seen you? It's annoying, actually, because you're just so beautiful. When we first met I remember thinking 'that's a face I'll never forget'," he paused, as if his mind was taking him back to the day he saw her for the first time. Roger frowned, he looked genuinely upset, but he knew he shouldn't. "And I can't even say that I just like you for your looks, because... I mean, who takes four random and very lost people to their own home and helps them?"

     Roger crossed his arms, not taking his eyes off her. "Freddie wanted to call the police because he thought you'd broken into his parents house and you still helped us! Are you sure you're not something my mind made up?" He almost reached for her cheek to caress it, to make sure she's real, but didn't. Roger sighed and shifted his gaze to his legs. "You've become one of my favorite people."

     He gulped and even though he was speaking faster than usual, Y/N understood every single word. Roger slowly raised his eyes and waited for a second, just so she could say something if she wanted. Since she didn't, he continued talking.

     "But, Y/N, the worst part is that your kindness made me your captive," his words caught her off guard, capturing her completely in some kind of net, "I have to stay here and everywhere I look, you're there! It might be a photograph, or your favorite yellow mug or those books," he gestured towards the bookshelf just a couple of meters behind the sofa "and the list just grows everyday that passes and I learn new things about you and I..." he sighs. Roger couldn't help but think that he was talking and talking and never getting to a point, but he definitely had one. 'I'm a fucking songwriter, I can do this...' he thought.

     "And I can't allow myself to become that used to you because it's like..." Roger gave himself a split second to think. "It's like you're part of my ecosystem!" he blurted.  'Maybe I can't,' he thought, but something stronger than him made him keep talking. "Except that I am the ecosystem and do you know what happens when you take something out of an ecosystem? It makes it collapses, it can't function properly-"

     "Roger," she quietly calls, placing her hand on his thigh. Y/N couldn't remember the last time she spent so much time in silence.

     "Yes?" Roger answers, he's breathing too fast and she can feel his desperation taking her over like it's her own.

     Thinking that he's nervous makes her nervous and he does it again, the tongue sweep across the bottom lip. Is that what he does when he's nervous? She swallows, waiting for him to do it again, willing it. And he is staring at her mouth too. The clouds rumble loudly.

     "If I'm part of your ecosystem, you're my solaris," she said.

     Y/N remembered her grandfather calling her grandmother Solaris, he said it was because she had a light that followed her, she could make anything brighter and flowers adored her. Even though Y/N didn't get it when she was small, it made sense now that to be someone a flower would like is to be someone graceful and simply fantastic. Someone who had a part of the summer in their soul and all the beautiful things it brings when it arrives.

     Roger blinks, but doesn't ask what it means. Her words makes him relax, she saw how his shoulder seemed lighter and something inside him made him believe that whatever solaris meant, it was good and a half smile broke through his face.

     "Yes, Roger," she finally says. He raised his brows as his eyes opened wider in a mix of surprise and happiness. Y/N took his hand and squeezed it just a bit. "I'll go with you."

     Startled, he blinked again. His silence only lasted for a split second. "Are you sure that's not the alcohol talking?" he asked, forcing a chuckle. "You don't have to answer now, I understand is not an easy decision and-"

     Y/N shut him up with a kiss. Roger moved his hands to her waist, pulling her closer but she'd never be close enough.

     She pulled away, her noses were still touching and a smile flourished on her lips. "I'm sure."

     He looked at her like he's listening to distant music. "We don't have to rush things, I want you to know that. Let's take our time." He moved his hand to her cheek and caressed it with his thumb. "I know you, but I want you to know me too."

     Y/N nodded. "We have time... We're gonna figure things out and if it doesn't work, I-"

     "It's going to, I know," he said, almost too cocky. Y/N grinned at him, not caring for the fact that he'd interrupted her and stopped her from telling the truth.

     "How?" she asked, only now realizing that she was almost laying on top of him.

     "Because I'll never believe that Brian would make a catastrophic mistake for nothing, he's too brilliant for that." He gently stroked her back, "you and I, Y/N... we were meant to be in the same story," Roger shrugges. "You and Queen too. It just... somehow makes sense and I can't wait to show everything to you when we're back."

     A comfortable quiet falls over them. Roger rearrange his body so he's actually laying down and Y/N's laying on top of him, her hand on his chest, tracing the drawing on his shirt with her finger.

     "I'm glad I'm on this little planet with you," she quietly spoke. Roger smiled and kissed the top of her head.

     "Me too."

     "Remember that farm we went to?" she asked.

      Roger hummed what would be the instrumental part of Drowse, he remembered writing it there but the image of the place slipped his mind. "What about it?"

     "I was thinking about spending Christmas there. The four of us," she answered. "I think we all could use a change of scenery."

       A light rain began to fall.

     "I couldn't agree more. And I like it there, will be nice to say goodbye to that place."

     Y/N frowned. "I didn't know it was that important to you," she smiled.

     "It is," she could sense he was smiling too. "And don't think I've forgotten what I told you there."

     "You told me many things when we were there," she replied in a humorous tone.

     Roger hummed, "I honestly prefer that you don't remember, it'll be more special that way," he said, his lips
against the top of her head.

     She snorted. "We have three days until Christmas, so just two to organize ourselves... I just hope the presents arrive before we leave."

     "We've done it in less time before, it'll be fine. And we can open the presents when we come back, don't worry." Roger sighed and a comfortable quiet fell upon them and the sound of rain involved him in a peaceful sleep.

     Y/N couldn't close her eyes nor make her mind stop taking her to places she didn't want to be. She would come back. Too much damage has already been made and if she comes back it means that Gloria gets to live.

     As much as Y/N loves her career and the life she was pretending to be hers, she had to go back to her reality, and that is what she's doing. Now, she just had to find a way to tell her friends that.