Chapter 27: The Purpose...

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I'm at the hospital right now. I'm on an isolated room with all painted white wall surrounding me. I can see them talking outside the room, I just couldn't hear it.


While hearing nothing but the sound of the air-condition, I tried to make peaceful thoughts on my mind. Or rather, question everything that is happening to me. 



I'd like to question him about these things. Really, for a teenager like me, I need to experience all of these?! Did I laugh out too much before we even step out of our house and even before the accident happens, so I'll be bringing these much tears away?!


I really don't understand. If everything that happened had its purpose, then why can't I see that purpose now?!


Or is it to kill me, to let me die then afterwards?! Is that it?! The purpose is to let me suffer, depress, and experience too much pain before you could have decided that I should die too?!


Then why don't you just do it much earlier?! Why didn't you just let me killed on that same accident where I lost my family?!


I hate it! I hate thinking that that would be your purpose. I mean, what have I done?!



As tears traveled my cheeks again, I heard the opening of the door. I switched my look after I stared at the blank wall for about a minute. I saw their worried faces.


"Riley? Are you alright now? You can finally go home, I prescribed medicines on you. And I'll see you for more medications, okay? I'll be meeting you on Friday." The doctor sat in front of me and showed sympathy while giving such instructions.


She's wrong! I'm not yet going home! They're not my family! It's not my home, it's theirs! Only theirs! And I will never be a part of them!


I just gave her a blank stare. I did not nod or say anything. Afterwards, I put my stare on the blank wall, once again. Tears finally dried on my face.


I heard her soft exhale of air before standing up and went to talk to them for more. "For now, we'll let her rest. But you may let her out of the hospital. I'll just see her on Friday for more psychology test."


Psychology test? I'm not insane! Dvmn!


"But will she be okay, then?" Mrs. Madelline asked


"She will be. The trauma will let go as long as she'll be surrounded by loving people. We'll see in the few days, how will she be doing then. But in totality, she's good."


Sir Magno came in. "Thanks Doctor."


"You're welcome. I'll go ahead."


And that's when she came out of the room.




"Have a rest, Riley. You'll need it. Just call us, if there's anything you want or need. We'll just be on the other room." Sir Magno left me with words before closing the door.


I just stared at the door even after it closes.



I'm at the same room again. Her room. However, the bed sheet had changed. The look in major, have improved actually. But it's still her smell. It's still her room. And there's no way I could change that.


I reach my comfort when I felt the warm bed awaiting for me. I hide my face with the pillows on the headboard. I cried softly, without releasing any sound.


I hate him! Very much!




The next morning makes me want to hate him more. 


Why do you still need to wake me up? Why don't you just ended my life last night? Why do you still let me breathe?



After minutes of staring at the open window, I finally decided to usher myself on the bathroom. I once again stare on the tiled room as I felt the water rinsing my whole body through the shower.


When I ended, I reach for the towel and let myself stare once more on the mirror.


Maybe I should just accept things. If he had given me another day, maybe I should just enjoy it? Maybe I should be rejoicing of it? Even if I can't find the reason why should I.



"Riley, breakfast is ready!" I heard Justin across the room.


Hmm? Reminds me of Josh. I inhaled on the thought sprung into my head.



As I concluded my clothing and breathing how many times, I took a step out of her room. I walked in through the stairs, slowly exploring its wooden feature.


"Justin, where's the remote control? I need to see Manny Pacquiao's game today!" Sir Magno screamed, hiding himself on the living room.


Just like Dad. I whispered.


"Magno, we'll have breakfast on the dining table! No disturbance of television while eating! Turn the TV off!" Mrs. Madelline insisted.


And hers, like Mom.


As I reach the end of the stairs, I saw Sir Magno passed at me, wearing a grumpy face. Showing dismay by stomping his feet like a child refused to be brought on a toy store.


"Riley, let's go eat?" I did not give any expression, I just followed her.


I glimpsed as she nods on my action.



At the dining table, I remained mute, peacefully attacking the food on my plate. While, they're just talking. Laughing. Smiling. Just like a normal family. Just like our family when Dad, Mom and Josh are still alive.


Is this what you wanted me to be into? To be a part of their family? To be an exchange of Trisha? To complete mine so as to complete theirs?


I sighed. Can I really do it? Can I ever accept what he wanted me then?



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