New Home

Chapter 35: Epilogue

Three years ago, I can still feel the excitement of summer. Three years ago, I was with my Dad and my Mom and my brother in a van, on its way for a vacation. Three years ago, that same van was involved in a car accident, and was collided with a truck. Three years ago, sadness filled me as all of them died, leaving me alone. And that three years, that's how everything started.

My grandparents took the responsibility to take care of me. When I slowly getting into my mind the fact of everything, and tried the word 'acceptance', that's when everything, once more, turns into black.

It has been an emotional distress for me. What keeps revolving on my mind is the idea of being the reason why all of these things are happening. 

Because of me, why everyone is dying, why everything is on the peak of its painful side. I'm the reason for my own hurt. I'm the reason of me, finally being so miserable.

I've been in different houses, been out of those houses. I have experienced sleeping on the streets, left with totally nothing but my bag with few clothes on. Got nowhere to go, nothing to eat. Have myself stalked by a stranger, pushing me to go with him and work in a club. I have experienced the most miserable person I can be.

Later those years, I met a familiar man. He's the policeman I saw at the hospital, whom I cursed so many times, as he keeps telling me the most absurd thing I can hear: like how come the whole members of my family died, leaving me the only one staying alive?

I was in the police headquarters and there, I thought of killing myself. It's too much depression and I can no longer handle the pain. I'm so vulnerable, I rather want to kill myself than to stay still in this unforgiving life.

But then he stopped me. Of all people, it's him whom I want to curse, once more. For God's sake, I just want to have myself dead! It's just one shot! They'll never lack bullet just because of that shot! I'm just asking for one bullet!

I kept crying that time. I'm like a child failed to have the most beautiful doll i the store. All my mind wants is to have myself, dead.

But I guess, he doesn't want me to die just yet. Like they used to say, everything has a reason. All of these things happen because of a particular reason - either our own reason or his reason.

--

"Riley!" I heard Justin's voice from nowhere.

I am surrounded by different people, asking me these and those, I have no more time to search for him.

"How you like to sell this painting of yours, Riley?" one of the media asked.

They're pointing my latest painting and most favorite. I stared at it for a while. I don't bother thinking to sell this painting. I don't know why but I can find some connection to this.

"Hmm?" I thought more. "I'm actually not selling it. It's not for sale." I faced them and say it proud. 

I didn't even plan putting this one in this exhibit.So how come it's here? It's a personal painting especially that I finally got out from being an abstract master.

"Too sad to hear about that. But all the entrepreneurs and others seem to be prying on this painting of yours, how would you like to consider selling it, anyway? It's a good auction for money." 

I find it very honored about what she said. Truly is, everyone's asking for this painting, I just never bother about what they ask.

"I guess the reason behind it, is the personal connection that I'm deeply involved with the painting. And since it's all about personal, the reason why I don't wanna sell it at all. I've been glad and honored of the willingness for my painting but sure is, they can still find better on my other batches."

Finally, she nodded. "I guess, we have to agree with that." 

I smiled.

The cameras and reporters slowly fade away when I finally saw Justin, walking near me. He had a bouquet of flowers on his hand and a bright smile on his lips. I ran up to him as I saw him there.

"I thought you're busy?" I asked him. He offered me those flowers. I mouthed him thank you.

"You know, I can't miss this event. I have to buy some for my unit." And he search all towards the room, probably nominating for good painting to display on his living room.

I gave him a tight hug. "Thank you!"

"I'm not buying your painting, if that's what you're thinking. I'm just here to bring the flowers. I'm looking forward for more other skilled painters." he whispered and I heard a bit of a snort on that. He's laughing, huh?

I turn my head to him, giving him a sharp look. He just continue laughing at me.

"There you are!" Mom pointed from our behind. "We'll be late if you keep doing that, you two!"

Here and then, I kept telling her about Justin's behavior on me. Justin, on the other hand, keeps on laying his very good side. As if it's that true! "Come on, your Dad's already on valet."

--

And the reason for my existence, still being seen, is to become a part of a new home. All these years, my goal is to have a finally permanent home but as to what I don't know, my purpose why I'm still living is to become a part of a missing home.

Right now, we used to visit them. Our separate families before.

I guess it has been the happiest day of my life. Maybe not with where I was born, or whom I shared my grown-up years with, but with someone whom I found can still repay the same thing. 

Some people whom let me be part of them and whom I let in to my world and my life. And the ones whom are my true inspiration for that painting: My New Home...