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Chapter 31: I need to... so bad!

I really don't know where I am heading. I try not to wait on him anymore. I chose to find my own way home.

Hmm? Home. How long will I have to wait for you?

I am so mad, I need to get away the tense feeling I felt. I tried not to talk but that didn't became a successful one. It actually puts up much bigger issue. And I don't like having that issue.

I don't want to think that I am really becoming a part of their family. I don't want to be attached. I'm sick of being thrown away.

They're nice with me, and I'd like to think that everything will turn out to be okay, as I can see.

But my mind keeps turning me on the track I have to be in. I just want to prepare myself when they got tired of seeing me on their space. So, it's no longer hard to detach myself on the feeling I kept together with them.

I just don't want to feel broken ever again. It's enough drama! I, no longer know if I can handle much more of that.

I found myself sitting on one vacant side on the bench which encircles the circular garden.

I guess, I'm in a park? Or a playground? Well, maybe both?

I remained seated as other people around my surrounding, slowly, goes away. I watch myself, sitting on the middle of a busy street. Which is surrounded by few bushy trees and garden plants. A lot were passing by, from right to left, and left to right.

I even attended myself on the orange sky due to the warn of sunset. How clouds were slowly turning away as the sun traveled down slowly, giving way for the moon.

I am hypnotized at the magnificent view...

I haven't tried watching the sunset view before. I loved star-gazing so much, that I haven't got the chance to figure out how beautiful the sun was.

I got even more entertained how moon switches the part of the sun. And how the stars finally came out on the earlier blue sky to a dark color of it, now.

Then, I realized.

Even if sun disappears, together with the light it possess, and how strong its effect to the world. Keeping people alive at morning, doing all those stuff. Busy working things. When night came, darkening the whole? It's not that bad after all.

Actually, there is an equivalent out of it. When sun is gone, moon and stars grab in, to mesmerize all. And when the latter passes, sun will then be coming back.

Just like life...

"Riley!" I released my eyes off the view when I heard my name.

As I switch my look on my side, I found her coming near me, wearing a worried face. I found concern in every angle of her movements. Especially when she run towards me like I'm gonna hit by a ten-wheeler truck. And that, she's doing her best to save me.

"Where have you been?" then I felt her warm hug afterwards. I just look up to her, finding the right words to say.

"What happened, Riley?" I exchange my look to Sir Magno who's worried, as well.

I am speaking aloud inside me, but there's seems nothing that wants to escape from my mouth. I remained peaceful, steady as they hug, and watch me, and interrogate me, with all these.

"Are you okay?" that's their last question.

I nodded as a reply.

"Let's go home, it's already dark. You might be hungry, by now." Sir Magno insisted.

He leads the way to the car. We, both followed him. She's helping me over as I walk, as if I have broken legs.

"Riley, I'm sorry about earlier. I thought that will fit on their questions. And besides, it isn't a very much matter if you became my sister. I will totally love the idea if you really become one. And—" Justin glared at me and start explaining things.

Sir Magno cut him through. "Justin, let her rest for the meantime. She's tired, we all are. Let's pass it for the night."

I came to see Justin's face. As I encountered his look, I give him a pinch of a smile. Then I lead my eyes back to the window where I witness once more, the busy night sky.

Just like life...

When one thing, buckles down, there's another one that will support still. When one door closes, another will open.

And when the people you love went gone, there's still more to come. Some, only came to visit. Others will live temporarily. Then, when the time passed by, there will finally be, permanent tenants.

Maybe new faces, but whom will still give the same care and love. Or whom, will provide you much better life now.

—

The dinner had passed and we were all quiet. I stayed on the room, for good, afterwards.

I can't help not to think the realization I got. This doesn't help me to put on the best sleep I want for the day.

So, I stood up. Watch the painting tools across the table near me.

I have to paint!

I badly need to paint!