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Chapter 7: The Realization

Shortly, my grandparents came back home. I didn't totally go and chase them from the door. I was busy doing a sketch using a scratch. And, I just want to think what I'm going to say after all. 

Then a knock scribbled my work, the reason for me to put it in the trash can. 

Grandma came in, behind her is Ate Rosa. I sat neatly on the bed, cross-legs. Grandma sat on the edge of the bed and let her feet swinging on the other side of it. Ate Rosa just standing beside the lampshade, smiling at me.

"Are you okay?" she asks. It's not really what I expected but I just nodded anyway. I didn't look at her straightly. 

"You know we love you, don't you?" she inquires and I again, nods.

"We're doing this for you too, honey. I hope you understand." she finally released a statement and another nod came in.

I wasn't aware tears are beginning to fall again.

"I'm just sorry. I really am sorry. I just don't know what to do. I just want them back, that's all." I keep on talking while sobbing. I covered my face with both of my hands and I just felt a warm hug from her. It's not the first time she hugs me but it's been the warmest hug I ever received lately.

 "We can go through all of this. Everything will soon be okay. We're here. We'll never leave you alone. Ever." she convinces and already sobbing, as well. I can oversee Ate Rosa crying too. We stayed like that for five minutes.

My primary family had been gone but I still have them.

I just maybe need more time to accept that.

--

It's time for dinner. 

Grandpa is sitting on the other end and Grandma is seated beside him. I sat on the other side of him. And silence came in between.

"So, it's good to be back home. It's good to have you here again, Riley. And, its nice to have you spend your dinner with us once again. These past few days, everything turns to be hard and out of control. But let us now change it. And let's start with the lovely dinner we have tonight. For the better us?" she raises a toast.

It's been an awkward moment for her. No one seems to follow.

When no one acknowledges her toast, she just induces, "Maybe not for a toast. But let us eat anyway, we have a feast in our table right now."

It's a feast then. The whole dining table is filled with different dishes. Appetizers, soups, main dishes, beverages and desserts are indeed present. But my stomach wasn't as festive as these foods.

I haven't eat a lot really. I only ate right amount for my stomach to be filled. I wasn't used to this kind of ambiance. It's too quiet and just way too quiet. But I have survived it, anyway, by which is atleast good.

The dinner passed but a sleep in my bed isn't welcoming yet. So I stayed a few more hours, stargazing.

"Stargazing. Merely gazing on the stars. Very nice hobby." he foretells what I'm doing. He's standing beside the front door, laying his side on it. He's holding some cup of tea and he even offers some as he sat beside me on the stairs.

"Josh and I used to have a telescope while watching them on the rooftop. I wasn't really a fan of constellations or planets or the moon, but I love to maneuver such on my paintings." I sighed as I straighten my look on the faint color of the night sky. 

"I have seen your paintings, they're good."

"Josh don't love them. He said it's a waste of time."

"Well, I do."

I turned my head on his side and gave him a smile. I laid my look once again on the stars. He later on join me.

After a short while, I came to start the conversation again. "I'm sorry about my reactions, I just don't know how to deal with all these things."

"I'm sorry about what I did, as well. Your Grandma told me everything. We're here to help you out. We're family. We only have each other at this point of time." he replies, positively. I haven't seen those freckles lately, good to witness his smile again.

"I'll try my best to fit in."

"We'll all try."

--

Days passed and everything turns to become in a better condition. I'm working on my paintings again. I can finally smile without even pushing myself to do. I'm also building my relationships with them. I'm already feeling at home. That's good to know.

But I'm still convincing myself with the changes. It's not really easy but I'm excelling, anyway. I just need more time. I just don't know how many more do I need. Or maybe, I just don't know until when will I'm going to say this.