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Chapter 17: Attempt

"Miss, will you just put down the gun?" I heard one policewoman instructed with her voice being calmer now.

I looked at her, and I can feel the thump of my heart. I am shaking and I'm feeling all their attentions on me. I stared at the gun I'm holding.

I haven't take a hold of a gun in my whole life, except now. And with this thing, I am scared. Really scared.

"Yo-you never wanted to take a shot on that." she then followed. I'm just observing the gun. The next thing that happened...

My eyes automatically closed when I heard the gunshot. As I opened it, more crowd are looking at me. I am at the top of the table and they were all staring at me with all doubts, concerns and fears.

I have done it, I can still fix to do it again. Even if my voice is shaking, I tried to speak aloud. "J-just stay away from m-me. I'm gonna shoot this again if you don't." I warned.

"Y-young lady, you never want to take a shot on that gun again, trust me. It's for your safety as well." she adds more. But I did not release of the gun. I fitted myself placing it on the side of my head.

"I will shoot this if you stop me from doing it." I screamed. I can even feel tears flowing all over my face. And I know, my eyes are just so red. 

"Riley?" the heat of the warnings was stopped by Sir Magno. And he's not too far away from me, that he is to touch the table I'm over.

I did not let him stop me. Instead, I put all my guts to really still the gun on my head and my finger on the trigger. "I'm serious! Just stay away!" I screamed once more. But he's not over what he did.

He climb on the table and now he's almost near me. "We can talk about this Riley. Don't do it to yourself. You are young. There are still beautiful things ahead of yours. Don't you want to witness those things?" he continued. With every single word, he's making a step and I just glanced back.

As he continued saying words, I watched all over the place. They're all on me. Other policemen are surrounding the whole table. Maybe six are on it. Some were just staring at the scene. All were gasping and waiting for anything to happen. Yet to happen.

"We can make this thing work, okay? We're here to listen. I am here to listen. I just need your trust. Will you give that to me?" he continued.

I looked at my back and I'm losing the steps already. I almost slipped and I heard all their gasps. But I still myself, standing, no more making any move.

"Riley? May I have the gun back?" he inquires and I froze my eyes on him who is just a few inches away from me. Tears are still out of control.

"Riley?"

They all left me. Mom. Dad. Josh. Grandma. And even that monster, Grandpa. Atleast, Ate Rosa as well. I'm all alone now. I just want to die instead rather than still live in this world, alone. 

"Just please let me die! I just want to die! Just let me kill myself! Just one shot on my head! And this will all be over! Just let me do it, please! Just... please." I cried hysterically. My feet weaken as I feel his one hand helping me to stand and the other, from taking away the gun I'm holding. 

One policeman offered him the hand for the gun. He let him have that. Why can't I have the gun, whereas, he can have it, freely?

I just cried all along. I sight people were vanishing on my way. The sound lessen, as well. I guess it's all calm now. I am calm. Now.

I stayed at his office. I lost my tears already. I am all full bent down. I just want to think. 

"Is there something you want to share?" he asked and I did not respond.

"As a promise, I'm here to listen, Riley. Say what you feel, and I'll just listen." Again, I did not respond.

I heard his huge sigh. And I can feel that he sat lazily on his swivel chair. "Then I guess, I have to wait until you talk." then I turned my head on him, asking him. "I'll wait until you say something."

"Why?" the first word that came from my mouth. Like 'Why you want to know? Why do you want to listen? Why? After all, you can never bring them back. You can't do anything.'

"'Cause that's what I promised to you. And I'm considering that promise then." he proudly say. I rolled my eyes on him and another silence take place. Long silence.

We were on the room for about twelve hours now. And the place is already haunted by a wild silence. Sometimes he'll make fizzs. There were times that the phone will ring and he just shut it off, without even asking who might be that caller. Most of the moment, he'll walk back and forth, really making loud stomps on the floor.

"I'm waiting, Riley." he sighed.

Four more hours had gone, and we're still into the same position. I don't need to explain my side. I don't need to tell him anything cause he's not part of my life. I'm all alone now.

Then and after, he take out a folding bed and he placed it on the side where I can sight by the gimpse of my eyes. "I'll just take a nap. Bother to wake me, when you already want to talk" Seriously? He'll sleep over this thing? 

I drank a lot of water earlier, my sac is full. I want to pee. And there's no comfort room inside his office. It's outside. I need to go.

I tried to open the door but it is locked. In what way? No matter how I tried, it never opened. I looked for the key but it's not in anywhere.

"I believe, you're looking for this metal." he announced as he sat on the folding bed. I tried to steal it but he's always winning. "I'll give this to you, when you talk." then he released a smirk.

I gave him an unwanted look and he just laid his head again. Arggh! I want to pee!

"What's the magic word, Riley?" he puts a joke. He even circles the keys on his index finger and I'm just watching over it. That's all I want for now.

"Riley?"

...

"I'm waiting."

...

"Fine! Just let me use the bathroom, please!"