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Chapter 9: Promises are meant to be broken ...

Ate Rosa took all my things and let me enter the car.

"Go ahead." she told the driver.

The car fasts away to the hospital on the next town. 

Once the car stopped by on the front pace of the hospital building, I hurriedly took off and went directly on the nurse station.

There is a male nurse on the counter. I reaches for my breath and starts with my query. "Excuse me nurse, I'm looking for Lucinda Diaz." 

He held a minute to look at the form he's holding on his right hand. Then he told me, without looking, "Second floor, fourth room on the right."

"Thank you." I said furiously, then speed away to the direction given to me.

When I reaches the said room, before I could even enter, I embraced myself, hoping that everything's okay. 

I'm on my readiness to open the door when I heard a sob, a loud sob.

"No! Lucinda! Doctor, she can't be! It's just a heart attack, it's impossible."

"Yes, it was. Many were dying with it. We can't deny, it is possible. I'm sorry!"

She's dead?!?

I wasn't aware when the two of them got out from the door. I was just standing, steadily, looking at my palms, still shocked about the thing I have overheard. There's no tears yet, not until now...

I finally held my head to look at him but he on;y stares at me, blankly. I can see his eyes, wearing color red, obviously from crying. He did not say anything to me, not any news borne from the inside. He quits looking at me and just went away.

Before I could enter the room, I stared at the door for five more minutes. Many nurses, patients on wheelchairs, or handle stools used to help them out, and even their visitors were passing by at my back. And before they could even go far away from me, I can figure their eyes set on me. They might be thinking, confused, why I was just staring at the door. Obviously, there's no entertainment on the door, itself. It is only covered with a white paint and that's all. It's actually weak to look at.

Finally, I found my release when I got to access the room, her room.

God, I hate hospitals, so much! They didn't caused good things on me. It is only full of bad news. It held its start when I'm still on Mom's womb. I was born premature. Then during my second grade, when Josh got to lose his one kidney. And on that same year, when Mom found out she miscarriages her third child. And the last time, is when all of them died except me. Hopefully, it's no more bad news this time.

I take few steps as I came closer to her. I can sight her even I'm still ten steps away. She's resting her head on a 45 degrees position against the mattress. She's peacefully sleeping, and she's pale. Her body is lying straightly and her hands are folded neatly on her belly.

"Hi, Grandma! How are you feeling? They say you're dead, I know you're not. You're only sleeping, they're too impatient to wait for you to wake up. You know, Grandpa." I said, with my voice shaking on each words. I am now sitting beside her, holding her cold hand. 

This can't happen again!

I'm not going to mourn again! 

"Please, wake up! You promised. You're not going anywhere too far away from me. You're not going to leave me too, right? You told me, you'll be here. You will sitill, right? Grandma?" I keep on talking but she's not responding, nor her body.

I know she's dead, but I can't accept the fact. 

"Take your time, Grandma. i will just sit here until you wake up. I'll be here for you too. I won't leave you." I told her one more time. Then finally, tears released from my permission. And it won't stop.

More minutes had passed, and she's not waking up. Nurses came in to take her body, behind them is my Grandpa who's crying a lot. I released my hold on her hand and sat still on her ex-bed. I watched them as they took her out and seal my eyes on my Grandpa who did the same thing on me. His eyes are now swollen. I guess he really did cried a lot. He released his stare with a disappointing look.

I did not follow them. I chose to be alone.

I stayed at the chapel inside the hospital. I did not kneel infront of him nor pray. I'm so mad, right now.

Why he need to took them all away from me? What's the reason this time? What's the need of prayer if he can't bring their lives anymore? What's the need of begging him if he can't lend the happiness longer than it should be? Why doesn't he want me to be happy? Why does he need to do this to me all the time?