ANGEL IN DISGUISE , MILEVEN AU

20.

why she would destroy herself and then fix it up right after?

the answer was quite simple actually, she wanted to be in control of her pain.

years or years after being controlled, she wanted to have times where she was in control herself.

so when the pain she caused herself actually became unbearable, that was when the morphine came in.

it held off for a little while. a little inject right before she walked to work lasted her till lunch before she felt the pain come in again.

mental or physical pain, she still hated it.

when lunch came around, she brought her bag with her to the bathroom to hide and to also take the second dose.

she hasn't been on a scale in days, but she was certain she either remained the same or became lighter.

her eyes started to fall shut all of a sudden and when she tried to peel it open, her surroundings began to spin and her breath felt stuck in her throat.

oh great.

at least she was on the floor so even though she does blackout, she won't fall and hurt herself again.

when she regained consciousness again, she held onto something to help herself up and decided to head to the pantry for some water to wake herself up.

but she didn't know that that would be the worst decision ever.

♥︎

"put this somewhere nice," mike said, setting a fish bowl down on el's desk with some gold fishes inside them.

"what?" she asked in confusion.

"goldfishes. i don't care where you put 'em just put them somewhere nice." he then placed some food on the table, "you can feed and name 'em,"

"you got goldfishes?" she asked, looking at him in shock.

"yes and?"

she refused the urge to laugh out loud at the fact that he got two goldfishes and so she only shook her head and forced a little smile.

"i'll take good care of them," she promised.

"i know. it's easier than plants, i'm sure," he said before walking to his office and shutting the door.

goldfishes. what the actual fuck.

el tapped the side of the round fishbowl, smiling as one of the fishes swim to her fingers.

"hi," she whispered, smiling as the fish tried to kiss her finger through the glass.

"you shall be pebbles because you're hiding there." el said then said to the other fish, "and you should be bubbles!" she laughed and picked up the bowl before setting it somewhere nice on her desk.

"there, now you can be happy right here," she smiled and blew the two fishes a kiss.

mike sat in his room, smiling as he watched the security cameras on his laptop. "i can't believe you got fishes. you out of all people got fishes!" lucas exclaimed through the phone as mike continued to smile.

"she likes 'em," he only said, watching as el occasionally waved at the two pets to make sure that they knew they weren't forgotten.

"god, you're so in love,"

"goodbye," mike hung up the phone before closing the tab of the cameras and focusing on his work.

because he knew no work would be done if he continued to watch her.