𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 || 𝐉𝐉𝐊

Ch. 21

   𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝒉𝒆𝒓. Each breath of air he had previously taken, was immediately stolen from his lungs as his breath hitched under her saddened gaze. The fingers of his limply hung hands twitched at the need to feel her, touch her and verify she was truly there.

The sight was all too real for him, though. Rintaro stared back at him with beads of tears stringing in her swollen, tired eyes that begged for relief. Seeing her in such a sunken state caused his mind to fill with obscenities of verbal curses regarding how he had cursed her with himself and his impure mouth.

   "Suguru, please tell me... is it true?" He blinked his dark orbs at her in shock, still utterly surprised to see the girl that he had forced from his memory over the span of a month and some weeks. The very girl he had fallen head over heels for and yet, allowed to slip from the reach of his cursed fingertip's. "Just tell me you weren't seeing other girls."

   He felt insufferable in that moment, hearing his name slip from her velvet tongue as she begged him for the very answer that could offer her relief or an eternity of heartbreak. But, his mouth has run drier than the deserts that stretched miles of their planets surface. Any hints or slight mentions he practiced saying over the span of weeks would stay forever chained to his mind at this point.

   Especially, not during the time that every memory and happy moment the two shared invaded itself into the depths of his mind. Each little sliver of Rintaro resurfaced from the 6 foot deep graves he had forced each emotion and fleeting thought into. Filling only himself with the warm sensation of love and comfort he always associated with her, once more. He missed her and he would no longer allow himself to deny it further.

   "Your silence is honestly the worst answer you could possibly give me, right now." His eyes left hers and stopped upon noticing the quiver her lips had taken through the words she forced her sore vocal cords to chime.

   Rintaro lifted the arm that numbly dangled at her side to wipe away the tears that glistened against the pink shades of her flustered face. "I don't know why I put you on a pedestal high enough to believe you, we're better than that." 

   Her other hand tightly grasped the door knob she held onto and pushed the door to a slam right in his pitiful face. In her ears, the sound of her taped together glass heart could be heard shattering into infinite shards of atomic pieces. The snowflake sized glass twinkled in the small light of memories that illuminated the blackened space of her brain.

   Why him? Suguru. The one she purposely avoided by holing herself into the uncomfortable isolation of her dorm. He was on the other side of the door, and so calm even after knowing she had heard his unspeakable crime he committed against her feelings.

   It surprised her the most that he was so normal, and completely unaffected by the wedge that crashed between the two. He looked the same, if not more handsome then she could remember, but she also couldn't remember what he looked like the last time they were together.

   Only because, each and every memory of them was boxed and shoved into the many piles of incomplete memories she shelved in the attic of her brain. Rintaro wanted every thought of him that littered her mind, out. The amount of sleep she had each night decreased significantly just to ensure that she wouldn't fall asleep and accidentally dream about him.

   Everything and anything reminded her of him, and she despised it. But, she still sought the comfort his touch would bring, the soft feeling of something so warm and soothing. Leaving her the only option to wear nothing but his jackets and shirts he used to give her from time to time.