A Love So Absolutely Clear {Crowen} ✔️

05: round one

the first few days of her diagnosis, owen and cristina were in tears. novella hadn't gone to school yet, and cristina had yet to tell her teacher what had happened.

nobody knew except for them, and they were scared to death.

novella was smart enough to know what was going on with her. she didn't belittle the illness, either. she knew what cancer was—what it does to the body, how it destroys healthy cells in the blood, how the cancerous cells would keep dividing so it would be extremely difficult to cure. she knew all about it.

she cried at first, but she was brave. even braver than her parents. she was only a child.

her first round of chemo was today, and cristina and owen told her how she would be losing all her hair, trying to comfort her by saying it would be growing back shortly. but she already knew.

"nov, you know when you start chemo...you're gonna lose all your hair." owen told her while she was lying in the hospital bed. her fever had gone down, but she still felt terrible inside. now they know it's because of her cancer.

cristina sat beside him, explaining to her how it would be alright. hair was just hair and it would grow back within a few months.

"your hair will grow fast, though. it's like mine. and besides, it will help you to get better." this part novella didn't fully understand, yet.

"because i'm bald, my cancer will stop growing?" she asked, confused.

owen smiled sadly. "yeah, that's exactly right, kiddo."

it broke their heart to know their daughter would be starting a journey too long and too painful for a girl her age and her size. they knew there was nothing they could do to ease the pain. but they would try like hell to do whatever it is that they could to be there for her.

"when can i go back to school?" she said, weakly. "all my friends will forget about me."

"nov, your friends won't forget you. you've been gone two weeks." cristina told her, putting a hand on her knee.

"but when can i go back?" novella continued, genuinely upset about leaving her school and her friends behind.

"mom and i still need to talk about it, okay?" owen told her, unsure what the answer to that question would be.

"but mom, i'm all better now." she tried to sit up in her spot but cristina just held onto her shoulder and stopped her.

"woah, woah, woah. you're not getting out of this bed until later. your chemo is today, remember?" novella lied back down on the bed and slowly closed and opened her eyes. it was very clear that she was exhausted.

"but if chemo is supposed to make me feel better, how come you guys tell me i'm going to feel worse?" they tried to explain to her the things that she would be going through so she would understand it and be more prepared, but she was six. it was going to be confusing for her.

"well, you see, there are good cells in your blood, now there are also cancer cells in your blood. chemo gets rid of those bad cancer cells, but sometimes they also get rid of your good ones. that's why sometimes we get sick from it. but soon your healthy cells will start to come back and you don't have to worry about it." owen tried explaining. novella seemed to understand it.

"so..." she began, beginning to piece things together. "...does that mean the cancer cells will start to come back too?" she waited for an answer, but owen and cristina didn't know how to respond.

"yeah, sometimes they can come back." cristina managed. "but then there will be another round of chemo that will destroy them again. and because yours is the kind that grows really fast, you need to come back for more chemo more than once every week."