A Love So Absolutely Clear {Crowen} ✔️

06: harder than it looks

it had been a few weeks after novella's first round of chemo. she had been to a few more after that. things started to get real. she started to lose her hair; cristina would find little strands on her bed sheet, whenever she'd brush her hair, or get out of the shower. fortunately she had a lot of it, so it would take a while for it to all go away. but the chemo was working. it meant that the cancer cells were getting destroyed, but it also meant some of her healthy cells were, too.

throwing up was almost a daily thing. after she'd eat a meal, while she'd watch tv, almost anywhere at very unexpected times. one minute she'll be laughing at something funny, the next minute she was throwing up her insides or feeling nauseous and sick.

the worst part was nighttime. sometimes for novella, but mostly for cristina and owen. during the day time, they were okay because they knew someone was watching over her. but at night, anything could happen and nobody could know. novella would be sleeping in her own bed, and owen and cristina would be sleeping in their own. they would have been more satisfied if she would sleep with them, but novella insisted to sleep in her own bed because she would be alright.

still, it was scary. at night they would overthink and talk to each other about how frightened they actually were. this isn't a cancer that one could survive easily. actually, there was a very big chance that it could turn fatal. fast.

"how can we be optimistic? we're doctors. we're not religious. we can't rely on a miracle." she'd say after novella was tucked into bed by both her parents; they would be in bed, the covers to their waist and staring up at their ceiling.

and when she'd say that, he'd tell her, "just because we're not religious doesn't mean miracles don't happen. they do. they happen everyday."

yet while none of them thought that a miracle was really physically possible, while they knew it was impossible to downplay her illness, it was all that they could hold on to. that and family.

cristina and owen had told all their friends now. a lot of them cried, and all of them felt sorry. novella had told her entire class. she was going to school regularly, now. both her parents thought it was important to continue her education. they thought homeschooling would be a better option, but and novella wanted to go to school, and her parents didn't want to do anything she didn't want to do.

"okay, nov, get up. it's time to go to school." cristina said, sitting by her bed and taking the covers off of her. "dad made breakfast for you. it smells really good."

she played with her daughter's hair while she squirmed around in bed before waking up to see her mother's eyes. they were a completely different color from hers, but they were beautiful. 

"good morning, mom." she spoke in a raspy voice, smiling at her before getting out of bed.

"good morning, sweet girl." she said, admiring her as the sun shined in her daughter's face and illuminated her features. she really was beautiful even if she was sick and out of it. "come on and eat the breakfast dad made you before school."

"what is it?" she sniffed the air, smelling something she couldn't really decipher.

"you'll see." novella slowly got out of bed and they walked out of her room together, to find owen cooking something up for them to eat. there was already food on their table, but nothing novella was familiar with.

"what...is that?" she said, pointing to the food on the table. owen laughed and put the food he just finished making down on the same table.

"it's oatmeal." owen said, decorating it with fruits and making a smily face with it. novella knit her eyebrows together.